So I was cleaning the toilets yesterday because
I had just wiped around the outside and top with one of those pre-moistened cleaning wipes (the kind that should have bleach in it based on the name, but doesn't actually) and then squirted the inside with a kind of cleanser that is supposed to take care of everything... lime build-up, calcium deposits, stains of all shapes and sizes, you know...the works!
Suddenly a white smoky gas started rising up off the edge of the toilet. Terrified, I pushed Sunshine out of the room, turned on the fan, flushed the stuff and closed the door. Then I remembered that Shortcake was in the front bathroom still swishing away. I screamed for her to come to me and after interrogating her as to how she felt and what she saw (nothing and nothing, thank you Dear Lord!) I performed the same procedure in that bathroom, grabbed the phone book and called Poison Control all the time kicking myself for not having the number on Speed Dial until I saw the number and then kicked myself for not having it memorized.
Let me just say how much I love Poison Control. I have only had to call a few times in my life as a mom and they have always been so helpful, heroically calm and thankfully... nonjudgmental.
I don't know if they give these people specific training in how to diffuse tense situations involving moms who believe they might have unknowingly concocted a bomb in their bowl (like MacGyver on a bad day) or if I just happened to get a guy who really enjoys his job. The nice young man who answered my call asked me to explain the situation to which I replied, "I was cleaning the bathroom and my girls were helping me...." As I paused to catch my breath which must have thought it was in the Boston Marathon I heard a little chuckle...
"These stories always start the same way."
Ok, now I could have ripped into him about his lackadaisical attitude regarding the potentially deadly cocktail steaming in my commode, but for a brief second, I stopped and thought. . . I'll bet they do!
And for just a second, I had to smile.
Thank you nice young man.