12+ in 2014

Miss Dwija is hosting a link-up that looks fun and a little challenging. Twelve pictures for the whole year. Ok… here goes.

Soup? Seriously… I'm going to start this look back at the year 2014 with soup. Why, you ask? Because when I see this picture, it reminds me of so many things. My husband got laid off at the beginning of January 2014 and while he wasn't unemployed for very long, it was still a scary time filled with uncertainty and worry for us. I made this soup for him when he was locked in our room one day typing his fingers to the bone trying to find another job fast. I wish I could have done more to take the burden off his shoulders but I figured my job was to nourish him and keep him feeling strong when those moments of stress hit. So many times that month we thought that 2014 was shaping up to be a year we'd want to forget. 

This picture also reminds me of the heartache of knowing that my brother was suffering even more than we were having to watch his wife spend her last days on earth and there wasn't any way to make it better for him. For us, having to find a new job turned out to be a blessing in disguise as my husband is very happy where he is now but my brother is still dealing with the emotional fallout of the devastating loss of his beautiful bride. Please offer a prayer for him if you can.  Thank you. 

February… one of my favorite things about February is seeing the silly Valentines cards that my kids make for each other. I hope it's something they continue as they grow and make their way in the world. Rain's cards are always a favorite amongst everyone. Last February also saw a lot of stitching. I finally opened an Etsy shop after years of people saying that I should and kind of found an embroidery groove. Unfortunately, I also burned myself out and haven't been back in that groove since then.

March started out with illness but ended up with rainbows, fun and games. 

Easter pic outtake… I have no idea what was going on over there.

Braces, Easter and dragons… oh my! And the many faces of Miss Cupcake.

A collage counts as one picture, right?

May was super duper busy what with two birthdays back to back, piano recitals, blog facelifts and stirring up trouble on the internet about "cutesy nicknames"… whew… I'm exhausted just thinking about it. 

Playtime and parks, books and butterflies, and finding out what it feels like to host a party that nobody shows up to. Humility… that's the name of this blogging game.

It's a Zelda thing...

In July… I hosted a Legends of Zelda themed graduation party for my niece, we puppy-sat our neighbor's ginormous, hairy dog and spent all day at a sweet friend's house while her daughter helped Sunshine sew a dress... and blogged none of it because I took a break. It was restful and a little reinvigorating but I can't lie… this blog is living on the back burner and I'm OK with that.

In August, we shared our trip to Austin to film Rachel and the Treeschoolers, my grandmother's birthday, Sunshine's sweater for Cupcake and some thoughts on what homeschooling is like with kids of all ages.

Three! She turned three!!!

And Bilbo and Frodo turned... I don't even know how old.

I love this picture of my knitting ninja. This will keep the boys from stealing her away too soon.

In October we hosted a Doctor Who party for some friends and little feast day celebrations for ourselves.

Please ignore the messy background. All I see is my sweet girl's beaming face.

We took a vacation to Branson, MO (our first real family vacation ever!) that I never blogged because as soon as we got home, we all spent the rest of November in varying degrees of flu-ness. But we did rally enough to celebrate my beautiful girl's birthday London style!

For December, we escaped from Mr. Lemoncello's library and jumped full into Jane Austen's world, costumes and all. We also celebrated Advent with our favorite saints and traditions. 

I have to break the rules with this last picture though (Sorry Dweej!) because these Christmas pic outtakes are too good not to post…

That's a wrap.  Tomorrow night we will make our way to the book store early, as is our tradition, and then come home, make some pizza and puppy chow and watch a movie. Low key is how we like our New Year's Eve.

Merry Christmas to you all and I hope you have a wonderful new year!

Santa Claus :: the Ultimate Fan Fiction

So, the Mommy Wars have been raging I guess over St. Nicholas vs. Santa Claus. I say, "I guess", because I refuse to read all the click-bait gems that are popping up in my news feed. Most times, the title tells you all you need to know. 

I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't tell your kids about Santa Claus vs. St. Nicholas. I have no authority from which to speak, except in my own family, but I recognize that that authority does not translate to worldly or internet worldly authority no matter how amazing or awesome I think my family's traditions are.

It's not my job. It's not anyone else's job. It's your job to figure it out. I will tell you that I think you should sit down and discuss it with your spouse first. Decide what your goals and desires are for your family. Think long term. Discuss honestly what you loved about being a child at Christmas and what you didn't like and be prepared to compromise and make allowances. (Hopefully you have a husband who is willing to discuss this with you.) For us, all of the wonderful, fanciful stories and legend of the right jolly old elf are like the ultimate fan fiction! Let me tell you how we got here...

When my oldest was a babe, Sean and I talked about our family traditions and what we remembered loving as a child. Frankly, the whole elves and North Pole aspect of Santa Claus never made the cut. Especially Mrs. Claus. It was weird. For both of us. His family celebrated St. Nicholas Eve by leaving their shoes outside their door and finding a treat inside the next morning. He remembers vividly the year he found a note saying he had received a new baby brother instead of a candy bar. So we've done the shoes/slippers for St. Nicholas ever since the big kids were little. But in his family, like mine, Santa came back on Christmas and dumped a pile 'o stuff under the tree and in the stockings. And the one thing we both remembered was feeling that law of diminishing returns in action on Christmas Day. The more presents we opened from Santa, the less exciting they were. Maybe that wasn't the case for you, but we both felt like one or two carefully chosen gifts for each child would be more exciting than a pile of stuff.

Since we knew we were going to teach our kids that St. Nicholas was a real person who was now a saint in Heaven as part of their religious education, we wanted our children to know that St. Nicholas practiced moderation. That he could not be expected to bring ALL of whatever their hearts desired. So we limited his scope to the stocking only. If it will fit in a stocking… St Nick has a thing for foot wear, I guess… then you can ask him for it. My husband was adamant about this and I'm so glad we followed his lead although there have been a few rare years when the packaging of a special request would not fit in a stocking and so the child would find their stocking draped over it. 

Now, please don't think that our children are deprived of gifts. They get gifts from three sets of grandparents, two of whom usually give family gifts and one who tries to pick something special for each child and usually can't contain herself to just one thing. Some of them also get gifts from their godparents and then there are ornaments, books, games and hot cocoa packages that come from aunts and uncles for the whole family to enjoy. We also give each child a stack of books and usually a bigger special something or a couple of little something specials that we know they have been wanting but never asked for from Mom and Dad. Those go under the tree and they say, "From Mom and Dad".

We never liked the idea of everything under the tree being from Santa because when the "real world" runs into that "reality" that's been created, it seemed like too much of a let down. St. Nick is only one of the many generous people in our lives. And yes, we do let them believe that the stocking gifts are left by him. We don't tell them any differently until they are old enough to ask and know. By that time, we talk about the spirit of St. Nicholas still inspiring us today, because he does in very real and tangible ways the way that many of our saintly friends lead and inspire us. That has made the transition from childhood to young adulthood so nice. The older children have insisted on maintaining that spirit for the little ones because it was such a treasured part of their childhood.

Some of the aspects of the secular Santa story have made their way into our family. Our children write letters, asking for a special gift (one small enough to be left in a stocking) and leave them in their shoes on the eve of his feast day. St. Nick, much in the same vein as Tolkien's Letters From Father Christmas, writes them letters in return sometimes with fantastical stories but always with a request to work on a particular virtue for the rest of Advent and a promise that he will return on Christmas to celebrate the birthday of our Saviour! We leave milk and cookies for him, although everyone knows St. Nick really prefers homemade fudge, and the stockings (his gifts) are the first things my children run to in the morning leaving all the under the tree gifts until we return from Mass. 

So you see… we do still do some of the Santa Claus traditions. But we decided a long time ago that the elves and the North Pole and the reindeer and the Mrs. Claus were like… fan fiction. Stories that people wrote about a character from history that they obviously respected and admired enough to write stores about. And we certainly enjoy writing and reading fan fiction around here, so to call it "fan fiction" is not a denigration in any way! It works for our family and it allows us to enjoy both the religious and secular aspects of good 'ole St. Nick.

My kids have seen Frosty the Snowman where Santa comes to save the day and turn a puddle of water back into the beloved snowman from New York who can only count to 5. They've watched Hermey fulfill his dream of becoming a dentist. They've set out cookies and milk and letters to St. Nick. 

But YOU have to do what works for your family without guilting anyone else to do the same or guilting yourself over choosing to do it differently. What we sat down and talked about 18 years ago has paid off for our family, giving us the kind of holiday season we enjoy most. You don't have to accept whatever the culture hands you. You are the parents. You can pick and choose. You can make it work for you or dump it all together. If you have your family's best interest at heart, you will not ruin your children for letting them believe in elves and flying reindeer and you will not ruin them if you don't. One thing is certain, you will have a lot of questions to answer, so you better be prepared for them. Parenting isn't easy whichever way you go. 

We aren't British, but there are always Christmas crackers with crowns!

{phfr} Early fall-ish edition

Remember that lovely family that my Sunshine sold gloves for? Well, they have recently been burdened with even more troubles (of the plumbing variety) but if you want to see what the power of prayer and some intercession of the earthly kind can do… check out this little miracle.

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~ with the lovely ladies at Like Mother, Like Daughter

{pretty}

On Tuesday, I had a splitting sinus headache so we postponed our candy rosary to celebrate the Feast of the Most Holy Rosary until yesterday. It still counts, right? In fact, since the whole month of October is dedicated to the rosary, I think you've got until October 31st to make one, if you really want to.

Kendra has been touting the simple and lovely M&M and chocolate chip rosary route. Me? Well, I've got teenage girls who take it upon themselves to create beautiful things. As we've done in years past,  Rain decided to put together a rosary with candies made from white chocolate and candy melts all on her own without any assistance from me so… it doesn't get any easier than that in my book. (OK, I did the dishes for her when she was done, just to say "thank you" for her sweet service to the family.)

{happy}

My new tortilla press is making everyone happy these days. Corn tortillas are so easy to make! Like Jennifer's family, mine never much cared for corn tortillas, but homemade corn tortillas are a different story. This one was filled with eggs and asparagus. Yum!

We spent a delightful day with some dear friends up at our alma mater last Friday for Family/Alumni Weekend. It was such a fun afternoon watching the kids play and laugh together at the place where our stories both began. Sunshine took this picture just before we headed up to meet Dr. O. for some stargazing. Some of those crazy kids climbed that tower… twice!

{funny}

One of the day's earlier activities was getting to sit in on some classes. The Professor wanted to see what college classes were like so he and I headed up to campus. Discussing the necessity of Hector's death, Sumerian and Egyptian art and some Latin review… yeah… he was in Heaven! I posted this picture on IG with the caption, "Over 20 years since my last Lit. Trad class and I can't not take notes!" It was true. The paper looks washed out here so you can't see the half page of notes I'd already taken. Old habits die hard.

{real}

Knitter or ninja in training? Don't mess with her!

I'm hosting a Mom's Night Out tomorrow night for our homeschooling group and it's a Pumpkin Party! I guess for me, it's a Mom's Night In. Everyone is bringing their favorite pumpkin flavored dish to share. I decided to turn a pie pumpkin into a flower vase for decoration (you can see it up there in the candy rosary picture) and toasted up the seeds... much to the delight of my children. First toasted pumpkin seeds of fall! (Totally ignoring the almost 90 degree temps.)

Haaaaaaaaave you met Dwija?

Of course you have! Isn't she just the bee's knees? I'm not sure what that means, but it sounds cute and cheerful and that makes me think of Dwija. I haven't met her in person yet, but I feel like I know her. I went to her SIL's wedding before she was her SIL but that totally counts, right? Practically part of the family.
(random pictures to follow just for fun)

Jingly bracelets from Grandma and Grandpa are the best!

Anyway… she just wrote an excellent post about budgeting and tracking your purchases. I wanted to point you towards it because we have just recently been going through a similar experience: tracking every purchase and really paying attention to where our money goes. (No, we don't do the cash envelope thing but it still works.) It started after Sean got a new job and we went from a paycheck every two weeks to once a month. We needed to totally change the way we paid our bills so we thought it was the perfect time to make a real study of our budget. My experience has been exactly like Dwija's. It's been so freeing to know where our money is being spent, so liberating to know that we do actually have money to spend on certain items if we plan it right. It's heartening to see that money left over at the end of the paycheck increase every month because we controlled our spending. Being faced with the reality of writing it down, really does make you think about making a purchase which is a good thing in todays' world of one- click shopping.

A grandma knows what little girls like! Cupcake is loving her new Birthday Purse.

It also makes you remember what you've already spent at the beginning of the month. Some of us (cough, cough, me) have a tendency to forget about the beginning of the month when we come all the way to the end of the month. Thirty days is a LONG time, y'all! ;)

I feel like we are more on top of our budget than we have ever been. We've never been more aware of our actual financial situation… and you know what, it's not nearly as scary as we thought it was. (OK, maybe I'm choosing to ignore COLLEGE looming on the horizon… let me stay in my happy place a little longer.) So while it's only been about 6 months for us since we started doing this tracking thing, I wholeheartedly recommend that you try it. It won't take you a year to see results although tracking for a year will show you changes in your habits, I imagine. I plan to keep it up.

{melt}

Go read Dwija's post if you want the low-down on how she did it. Now, me, I'm still a paper and pencil kind of girl when it comes to most stuff so I created a couple of Word documents to print out and use in a three ring binder. (I love, love, LOVE this ledger for keeping track of my back account stuff.) My dream some day is to get to hold Dwija's precious baby and munch on his cheeks while she shows me how to use Excel. Wouldn't that be fun? I think so. Using paper might seem very old fashioned, but I'll have you know that I did recently make the switch to these erasable pens. They really work and don't leave any little eraser bits behind. How very modern of me, I know! ;)

* Silly reference in the title, I'm sorry. I've started watching How I Met Your Mother while I exercise. My only excuse… 2 episodes = 45 minutes on the treadmill!

WWRW: Convert stuff

I haven't participated in this link up in a while because frankly, I wasn't really reading much. I was doing a lot of embroidery and sewing of dolls and I was watching a lot of old, junk TV. I can now say that after hours and hours of research… I much prefer the Angel series over Buffy… don't judge! In my defense, my husband was in training classes for two weeks… in Seattle! TWO WEEKS! That's a long time! Ok, those of you who have husbands in the military can laugh at me. I'm a wimp, I know.

But he's been back for a while now and other than doing some spring cleaning and wardrobe refreshing for the kids, I really had no good reason not to pick back up with some reading. 

Since I still find that it's easier to read using the Kindle app on my phone and I saw that Jen at Conversion Diary was offering a free ebook to go along with pre-ordering her new book, I thought this was a good way to begin again. The download comes in pdf form but if you are like me and you want to read it in Kindle form (meaning you can change font style and size), you can email it to your Kindle (you'll have to find your specific Kindle email address over at Amazon) with "convert" in the subject line and it will arrive in your Kindle library in Kindle form. Isn't that cool? And the irony wasn't lost on me. I had to convert Jen's book..."Convert" ---> Conversion Diary. Tee hee hee. I am easily amused. Hah!

I will have more to say about this little .pdf gem in a future post. There are so many thoughts swirling around in my brain, I need time to sort them all out and this week is too jam packed to do that. Let me just say that this was an enlightening work. Like lightbulb moment epiphany. Like jaw dropping, smack your head kind of epiphany. (OK, maybe that's a little hyperbolic, but I don't think Jen will mind being prone to hyperbole herself.) It explained a lot. It encouraged a ton. It really helped me look at things from a completely different perspective that I don't know I would have ever seen without Jen's guidance. What I enjoyed most about it was the practical "action" items for those who were interested in that (you know, actually putting one foot in front of the other to get something done) and the practical, common sense approach to everything else for those of us just looking for some inspiration and insight. I really felt like for the first time since reading Jen's blog that I had something in common with her, something I could relate to (that common sense practicality), that I was learning more about her thought processes and even her real self. (I'm not saying she puts on an act or anything but you know how a blog is only a small glimpse…SEE… too many swirly whirly thoughts…blah.) Suffice it to say that it perfectly whet my appetite for her book coming out soon. I'm even more interested in reading her story than I was before.

Head over to Housewife Spice for more reading inspiration.

Day 6 :: Happy St. David's Day!

I've been posting some recipes this week over at Catholic Cuisine to celebrate St. David's Day today. My husband's Welsh ancestry has sparked a little devotion in our family to this sometimes forgotten saint. (St. Patrick gets all the press, you know! :)

First up was our simple version of a Daffodil Cake.

Next was this delicious Potato Leek Soup with Roasted Butternut Squash "Croutons".

And finally these delicious Welsh Cakes! I tested them earlier in the week and my children begged me to make some more today. They taste like a scone and a biscuit got married and had delicious little babies! 

Dydd Gŵyl Dewi Sant!

Happy St. David's Day!

Day 2 :: A little bit about the shop...

(Psssstttt… I posted more kits last night.)

I've got some tutorials planned for the next few days that have to do with my little saint dolls and the embroidery kits, but today, I just wanted to take a minute to say that in this world of Etsy shops that can turn into huge business opportunities, my vision for my shop is just like my blog... very small. I am not a corporation and my shop is not a business in the traditional sense. It's an overflow of my life here at home.

Right now, I am on an embroidery kick and I found a way to share that with you all. Next month, it might be baby blankets. By the time we hit July in Texas, it might be underwater basket weaving… who knows! I am not looking to market it or promote it or sign up to be anyone's sponsor but thank you for thinking of me and asking. I'm not looking for it to grow any faster than the natural course allows. And it is completely subject to my whim and fancy. I might close it next week, next month or next year. (Just FYI, I plan on putting the shop on vacation starting April 6th until after Easter to make sure that the last weeks of Lent get the attention they deserve.) I see it first and foremost as a hobby and an experiment. (Especially since my Sunshine has been curious about opening her own Etsy shop for a while now.) In fact, this woman's humble shop has long been my inspiration.

I'm not trying to create a brand and I'm not trying to "make it big". I'm trying to be the best wife and mother I can be and still nurture my creativity in my spare time. I will try to take on custom orders as my time and responsibilities allow. You should always feel free to ask, I just reserve the right to say, "not right now". Thank you for respecting that and understanding.

Day One

According to the Queen of Blogging Link-ups, (that would be Jen), one of the advantages of the 7 x 7 blogging challenge is:

"It’s like a blogging closet cleanout. When I clean out my closet, I have a rule that if it’s been more than a year since I last wore an item, I either need to decide that I will begin wearing it now or give it away — no more looking at it and saying “maybe one day I’ll get to it…”

So, for Day One, I took a look at my draft folder. There were only 6 posts there. A couple of them were BigBoy sayings that never got posted. One of them dates back to 2009! I don't know why they weren't ever posted, so here they are to tickle and amuse him and my big kids who read my blog now almost daily...

AGE FIVE:
(BigBoy writes/types a story)
asthe bugwas tr/terminated.buythe foxTHEY CHEERED.

(As the bug was terminated by the fox, THEY CHEERED!)



AGE SIX:
If you smell rotten eggs, it's me. Oh, by the way... excuse me!



AGE NINE: 
(reading aloud) : The State of Massachusetts absolutely forbids dueling with water pistols.
"Well, I am never going to visit there!"

(Nine year old boys have their priorities you know!)


Oh, how they grow!!!

Like fireworks on the Fourth of July...

It's that time of year again, folks! 

The time of year when the Halloween/All Hallows Eve posts starting getting dredged up, passed around or published anew. Since imitation is the best form of flattery, let me just say in reference to that last link, "I'm soooo done apologizing for not liking Halloween!" There I said it. I just don't like it. And it's not because I think it's a secret Satanic celebration. It's not because I'm a helicopter mom who doesn't allow her children to move 2 feet away from her without a bike helmet and knee pads on lest someone skin their pwecious wittle knee. It's not because I think I'm a better/holier/truer Catholic for not celebrating it. I promise it's not. Please believe me, friend. We are on the same team, right?

Honestly, I don't like to be scared. I never have and my childhood "friends" can testify to that. (I'm looking at you Stephanie Durocher who used to delight in hiding around corners or behind doors and jumping out at me!) Roller coasters never interested me, spooky houses never even crossed my mind as a fun thing to do and it only took one Freddy Krueger movie to turn me off the whole scary movie genre. And my kids don't like to be scared. They like to be warned when a jump scene is coming up in a movie. They love watching battles but they don't like gore. They like to know where the Halloween section is at the local store so that they can avoid it because it creeps them out and will come back to haunt them at bedtime making their night (and my night) miserable. And frankly, some people, just don't get that or allow for that. They think we are wimps, coddling our girls or raising unmanly/wussie boys. We prefer to call them "gentlemanly" and they can describe for you in detail the differences between the various Gladiators who fought in Ancient Rome. They just don't want to watch Gladiator. Then again,  I didn't either... my dad made me and I kept my hands in front of my face the whole time.

Halloween 1999.
I made the Zebra costume and the pumpkin was a hand-me-down.

We tried trick or treating for the first three or four years of having kids and it just never clicked for us. Now, there are other reasons we don't trick or treat that include reasons like a neighborhood with rolling hills and fast driving teenagers, no side walks and very few street lights. But frankly, I know those are just our preferences and not really arguments. But I'm not here to argue about it. I'm perfectly happy to let you go pound on doors, scoop up all the free candy you want and eat it to your heart's content! In fact, I make sure we set out a bowl of candy no matter what we are doing so that we aren't perceived as spoilsports. If the first kid who comes along grabs all of the candy and runs, he's ruined it for everyone else, not me.

My candy for the neighborhood kids ready to go.
And it's the GOOD stuff!

So, why can't we be left alone to do things our way (usually focusing on getting a jump start on celebrating the Feast of All Saints) without it being implied that we have been influenced by Protestant thinking, are raising spiritual wimps or that we have "mommified" the fun out of this new ancient liturgical celebration of the "Hallowmas Triduum"? Oh my goodness, there is so much bad history there I can't stand it!

Aside... Hallowmas is a real word (it refers to the Mass of All Hallows just like Michaelmas is the Mass of St. Michael and Christmas is the Mass of Christ's Nativity) but there is not and never has been a Hallowmas Triduum! The word "Hallowmas" doesn't even include All Souls Day (which was added later) so how can it be coupled with the secular celebration of Halloween to create a "Triduum"? We are smarter than that, people! Just because someone wrote it on the internet doesn't make it true. /end rant

But it's really no surprise that there is so much bad history behind this holiday since most experts can't even agree on how the traditional American Halloween got started. Yes, Scottish immigrants probably brought over the idea of "guising", dressing up and going house to house performing for treats but that wasn't just an All Hallow's Eve custom.

In our country there are carried on at Christmas time a sport call’d Mummery by the English Borderers and Guisardery by the Scotch. ~Sir Walter Scott, 1826

Yes, people used to go begging for soul cakes in exchange for prayers but all indications say that was done on the eve of All Souls Day because people would have had extra food to celebrate the feast of All Saints and would probably be feeling more generous too, it wasn't an All Hallow's Eve tradition. Yes, it was a night to dress up and play tricks (as seen in the famous scene in Meet Me in St. Louis, but people can't even agree on when and how the treat aspect was introduced.

But it doesn't matter how it got started, it is what it is now. Kids get dressed up in fairy tale or scary tale garb and get to step out into the night (usually with the hand of Mom or Dad nearby) and knock on doors saying "trick or treat" when what they really mean is "Just treats, please!" and it's all innocent good fun and it's relatively easy and one less thing that makes you "weird" because it's something that can be shared and enjoyed with neighbors and friends no matter their political or religious beliefs.  Nobody likes feeling like the weirdo all the time.

You'll notice that I am intentionally ignoring all arguments about slutty costumes and freaky weirdos who answer the door with live snakes around their necks because I recognize that those are probably not the majority of the people participating in the kiddie fun.

All I ask is that you all who celebrate Halloween in the traditional American way (because they didn't do it in Europe until we imported it a few decades ago) please ignore the mostly Protestant condemnations of being Satan's spawn. Because, from what I can tell, it's not us, your fellow Catholics who are laying that charge on you. And if it is a fellow Catholic, it's most likely someone from a small group of radical traditionalists. You don't pay attention to them any other time of the year, so why start now? (UPDATE: I have been informed that some fellow Catholics who are not of the the Rad Trad variety are the ones saying that it's a Satanic celebration. Bad history, my friends! It's done so much damage. Don't let it do anymore.)

Halloween 2000
Oh YES I made that Thomas costume and then gave birth exactly 13 days later!
And that was before I started blogging. I did it just for him.

We, those of us who prefer to not trick or treat anymore, who prefer to focus our time and attention on the upcoming feast day for a myriad of reasons, are NOT saying you are bad, evil or less Catholic than us. So, why are we even talking about this? Why is this such a big deal for us to opt out? Nobody complains if we don't go watch fireworks on the 4th of July. Nobody writes posts about how Catholics need to embrace fireworks (um... please don't actually embrace the fireworks, m'kay?) and how celebrating the independence of our nation has religious significance as it represents our celebration of the free will that God gave each of us. Nobody says that people who are afraid of hurting themselves by shooting off fireworks have been secretly influenced by the insurance companies who are only trying to protect their profit margin when they caution people to be careful on the 4th of July. And nobody tries to justify their love of fireworks by making people who prefer to focus on red, white and blue themed parties instead of fireworks feel like they are just weird or wussies.

Just like fireworks on the 4th of July, Halloween is optional. If you want to celebrate it with princess zombies and pirate witches, go for it. Have a blast! But don't bully us for opting out. We promise not to call you Satanists, m'kay? And let's both agree to celebrate the feast day (you choose when you want to start) with just as much gusto and vivacity because that's what's really important, right?

Minor Reconstruction...

I'm doing some freshening up around here (new background, new email picture) and one of the things I will also be doing is making a generic post for each coloring page (without the usual chitchat) so I don't have to link back to original posts from 2008. Sorry for the inconvenience of all these showing up in your feed readers. But, I'm starting with the October saints so consider these reminders for the ones you might have missed and the ones coming up. Also, I'm creating a FB page for the blog for anyone who prefers to use FB as their feed reader.

Bye for now!

Pretty, Gritty, Real?

I was really surprised when a college friend told me on FB that she read about my blog over at the National Catholic Register. Apparently, a comment that I left for Hallie Lord got picked up by Simcha Fisher. I have to admit, my first reaction was "Great. Now everyone knows I have a therapist!" It's not a secret, I've talked about it on my blog before but I usually don't go talking about it in national online publications. Recently, Erin from Australia asked me my thoughts on how the blogosphere has changed since I've started blogging after I mentioned that sentiment in a previous post. All of this led me to sit down and put some words to digital paper. Why? Because this is what my blog is. A place for me to think, share, document, and remember.

It seems to me that there are as many different blogs out there as there are people in the world, but there are a few categories that I've pinpointed in the Mommy Blogworld. I'm going to say right out that I don't like putting people in boxes and just because one person might write the sort of thing to go in one kind of blog category doesn't mean that they can't turn around and write something else. It's like trying to label homeschoolers. Are you more Charlotte Masonish or School-At-Homeish? Do you unschool or make your kids wear uniforms and start every morning with the pledge of allegiance? What if you do both? Which box do you go in? Get my drift? Nobody puts Baby in a corner and that's not what I'm trying to do here.

The major blogging categories I see in the Mommy Blogging World are these:

Nitty Gritty

Random Diary

Digital Scrapbook

Spiritual/Inspirational

Professional 

Are these the only categories? No, but they are the ones that stand out in my mind. I'd like to say a little bit about each as I see them...

Random Diary

"Random Diary" doesn't mean that they read like "Dear Diary... blah, blah, blah". What I mean is that these are people who like to pop in every now and then and participate in a link-up or tell everyone what they've been up to. They like to record some things for posterity sake but they come and go (posting wise) based on their whim. Sometimes they might take a longer hiatus but they never usually feel the need to say, "I'm taking a blog break."When inspiration hits, they might pound out a post every day for a week or a month or longer. They write for themselves and usually not for a specific goal other than to satisfy their urge to connect with someone.

Spiritual/Inspirational

Spiritual/Inspirational blogs are ones that I can't read too many of. These are the blogs that take every walk in the park, every shopping experience, every crumb on the table and turn it into a spiritual journey. These kinds of blogs are way too romantic and poetic for my practical sensibilities but I understand how uplifting and encouraging they could be for others. It's just not my usual cup of tea. Never for a minute would I accuse them of putting on an act or a persona, of not being "real". I really do think these bloggers are the way the write. I believe that they really do stop and reflect or they really want to, maybe not every minute, but certainly at the end of the day and they write those reflections down hoping to pass along some inspiration or encouragement to someone who can't see the forest for the trees. These people might be writing for just themselves or they might be writing for their readers. I guess it depends on whether or not they are trying to sell you something. Which leads me to...

Professional 

The Professional Blogger. I'm not talking about the mom who happens to pull in some extra income using affiliate links or anyone who has ever done a review in exchange for a free book or two. No, the professional blogger is the blogger who gets paid to blog either by a specific company or through sponsors or who's blog is a marketing tool for their latest product. These bloggers usually have to be conscious of readership level and click-thrus and the fact that certain topics quickly drive traffic up. Sponsors pay based on an expectation of exposure and professional bloggers have to pay attention to their traffic in order to satisfy those expectations. I always try to remind myself when reading these blogs that basically, it's a business for them and they are probably trying to sell something whether that's their latest book or their persona. Again, I'm not saying that they aren't "real" just that these people are writing not for themselves, but specifically to cultivate regular readership and satisfy expectations.  I'm not saying there is anything wrong with that, just that I think everyone would be wise to remember these things when reading professional blogs. It always helps to keep things in perspective. Simcha herself says in response to a negative comment, "Yeah, well, the difference between this lady and me is that, when I write unpleasant, pointless stuff that nobody cares about, I get paid for it. Ha ha!" Using humor and exaggeration to make a point doesn't mean there isn't a kernel of truth and in Simcha's case, she's found a niche amongst the Nitty Gritty crowd that works for her and profits both her and her family.

Personally, I love listening to Jim Gaffigan and Tim Hawkins comment about marriage, family life and raising kids but I never think of them as being "more real" or better at baring their souls. No, they are professional comedians and quite good at what they do. That's why they are so entertaining!

Nitty Gritty

And speaking of Nitty Gritty... these are also the blogs that I can only read occasionally and not regularly. Why? Because these people make their lives sound like my worst nightmare. Yes, I understand that they might be employing rhetorical devices like hyperbole and sarcasm for the purpose of humor and entertainment, but they make me... anxious. Because you never quite know just how much is real in what they say and how much is exaggerated for dramatic/comedic effect. Yet these blogs get labeled as being more down to earth and "REAL" than the "pretty blogs".  I don't understand that. If your life really is that out of control, would you really revel in it? Why wouldn't you take steps, any steps no matter how small to try to help make it better. If your house really is a disaster pit of despair, start tossing things. If your dirty clothes really are lining the hallway in piles so big you can't see the carpet, why wouldn't you get some hampers. Can't afford them? How about a cardboard box? If your 2 year old keeps reenacting a Colonial Tar and Feathering with Vaseline and Cheerios, why wouldn't you put those things and anything else that tempting on a higher shelf?

I realize my reaction is really my problem, not theirs, because I am the kind of person I am. I like order. I like organization so I make it a priority. Not magazine perfection, mind you, but tidy according to my standards. My playroom is a "disaster" by my standards after one morning of Cupcake entertainment but I can ask my 9 year old to clean it up and in 10 minutes it's back to tidy because he knows where everything is supposed to go and doesn't mind putting it away for me. That's important to me. Why? Because when my house is too disordered for too long, it starts to affect my psyche. I feel disordered and I hate that. So the Nitty Grits don't appeal to me as much. I read a few and then I move on. I certainly don't think of them as liars, or accuse them of over exaggerating the ugly in order to get a few laughs. It's their way of dealing with their life. Maybe the laughter helps fights back the tears. That, I can totally understand.

Digital Scrapbook

Now we come to my favorite! Of course I saved the best for last! (That was humor, lighten up!) I've said it before and I'll say it again. I consider my blog primarily a Digital Scrapbook. Not all digital scrapbooks are going to be pretty. It depends on what the blogger wants to highlight. I blog for me and my family. Yes, knowing that other people besides my husband and best friends read it makes it a little more fun but I'd still scrapbook even if was just for me. I need help seeing the beautiful and, most of all, remembering. What you see is what we really do. I really do make these cakes and I really decorate like this for my kids' birthday parties and I would even if I didn't own a camera to take pictures with but nowhere do you see any kind of statement saying, "If you really loved your children, you'd do this too!"

Frankly, I'm a little tired of having to defend my creativity over and over. Yes, there will be occasional pseudo-complimentary comments about how mom's like me are gifted with certain talents that others don't have and that's why we are able to do what we do... like it's not work or anything, just the product of a talent we did nothing to cultivate, we were just given. Thanks a lot! If I were to say that someone's computer talent or writing talent was simply a gift from God and not a skill that's been honed and sharpened, I wonder how those women would feel? We all have God given talents and interests and motivations, but we all also have to work and practice and put those talents to good use. I might have been blessed with an artistic eye, but I have to develop it and work it to use it the best way I can for the glory of God.

So, ladies... let's really build each other up. Let's really celebrate each other's talents. Let's learn from each other what we can. Let's recognize that everyone has a battle to fight and it might not look like yours. Let's not just ignore those people we can't understand or dismiss them as "unreal" to make ourselves feel better. I have learned so much from so many different people I've encountered online. I like to think it's made me a better person. Don't miss out on the chance to become a better person too.