Santa Claus :: the Ultimate Fan Fiction

So, the Mommy Wars have been raging I guess over St. Nicholas vs. Santa Claus. I say, "I guess", because I refuse to read all the click-bait gems that are popping up in my news feed. Most times, the title tells you all you need to know. 

I'm not going to tell you what you should or shouldn't tell your kids about Santa Claus vs. St. Nicholas. I have no authority from which to speak, except in my own family, but I recognize that that authority does not translate to worldly or internet worldly authority no matter how amazing or awesome I think my family's traditions are.

It's not my job. It's not anyone else's job. It's your job to figure it out. I will tell you that I think you should sit down and discuss it with your spouse first. Decide what your goals and desires are for your family. Think long term. Discuss honestly what you loved about being a child at Christmas and what you didn't like and be prepared to compromise and make allowances. (Hopefully you have a husband who is willing to discuss this with you.) For us, all of the wonderful, fanciful stories and legend of the right jolly old elf are like the ultimate fan fiction! Let me tell you how we got here...

When my oldest was a babe, Sean and I talked about our family traditions and what we remembered loving as a child. Frankly, the whole elves and North Pole aspect of Santa Claus never made the cut. Especially Mrs. Claus. It was weird. For both of us. His family celebrated St. Nicholas Eve by leaving their shoes outside their door and finding a treat inside the next morning. He remembers vividly the year he found a note saying he had received a new baby brother instead of a candy bar. So we've done the shoes/slippers for St. Nicholas ever since the big kids were little. But in his family, like mine, Santa came back on Christmas and dumped a pile 'o stuff under the tree and in the stockings. And the one thing we both remembered was feeling that law of diminishing returns in action on Christmas Day. The more presents we opened from Santa, the less exciting they were. Maybe that wasn't the case for you, but we both felt like one or two carefully chosen gifts for each child would be more exciting than a pile of stuff.

Since we knew we were going to teach our kids that St. Nicholas was a real person who was now a saint in Heaven as part of their religious education, we wanted our children to know that St. Nicholas practiced moderation. That he could not be expected to bring ALL of whatever their hearts desired. So we limited his scope to the stocking only. If it will fit in a stocking… St Nick has a thing for foot wear, I guess… then you can ask him for it. My husband was adamant about this and I'm so glad we followed his lead although there have been a few rare years when the packaging of a special request would not fit in a stocking and so the child would find their stocking draped over it. 

Now, please don't think that our children are deprived of gifts. They get gifts from three sets of grandparents, two of whom usually give family gifts and one who tries to pick something special for each child and usually can't contain herself to just one thing. Some of them also get gifts from their godparents and then there are ornaments, books, games and hot cocoa packages that come from aunts and uncles for the whole family to enjoy. We also give each child a stack of books and usually a bigger special something or a couple of little something specials that we know they have been wanting but never asked for from Mom and Dad. Those go under the tree and they say, "From Mom and Dad".

We never liked the idea of everything under the tree being from Santa because when the "real world" runs into that "reality" that's been created, it seemed like too much of a let down. St. Nick is only one of the many generous people in our lives. And yes, we do let them believe that the stocking gifts are left by him. We don't tell them any differently until they are old enough to ask and know. By that time, we talk about the spirit of St. Nicholas still inspiring us today, because he does in very real and tangible ways the way that many of our saintly friends lead and inspire us. That has made the transition from childhood to young adulthood so nice. The older children have insisted on maintaining that spirit for the little ones because it was such a treasured part of their childhood.

Some of the aspects of the secular Santa story have made their way into our family. Our children write letters, asking for a special gift (one small enough to be left in a stocking) and leave them in their shoes on the eve of his feast day. St. Nick, much in the same vein as Tolkien's Letters From Father Christmas, writes them letters in return sometimes with fantastical stories but always with a request to work on a particular virtue for the rest of Advent and a promise that he will return on Christmas to celebrate the birthday of our Saviour! We leave milk and cookies for him, although everyone knows St. Nick really prefers homemade fudge, and the stockings (his gifts) are the first things my children run to in the morning leaving all the under the tree gifts until we return from Mass. 

So you see… we do still do some of the Santa Claus traditions. But we decided a long time ago that the elves and the North Pole and the reindeer and the Mrs. Claus were like… fan fiction. Stories that people wrote about a character from history that they obviously respected and admired enough to write stores about. And we certainly enjoy writing and reading fan fiction around here, so to call it "fan fiction" is not a denigration in any way! It works for our family and it allows us to enjoy both the religious and secular aspects of good 'ole St. Nick.

My kids have seen Frosty the Snowman where Santa comes to save the day and turn a puddle of water back into the beloved snowman from New York who can only count to 5. They've watched Hermey fulfill his dream of becoming a dentist. They've set out cookies and milk and letters to St. Nick. 

But YOU have to do what works for your family without guilting anyone else to do the same or guilting yourself over choosing to do it differently. What we sat down and talked about 18 years ago has paid off for our family, giving us the kind of holiday season we enjoy most. You don't have to accept whatever the culture hands you. You are the parents. You can pick and choose. You can make it work for you or dump it all together. If you have your family's best interest at heart, you will not ruin your children for letting them believe in elves and flying reindeer and you will not ruin them if you don't. One thing is certain, you will have a lot of questions to answer, so you better be prepared for them. Parenting isn't easy whichever way you go. 

We aren't British, but there are always Christmas crackers with crowns!

St. John Paul II

This is for those of us without a story...

I've been seeing everyone's pictures and reading their beautiful tributes to the man that we all know now as St. John Paul II but who will always fondly be remembered as just JPII.

I don't have a story. Or rather... I do. But it's just an ordinary one.

I went to Rome for a semester during my sophomore year in college. It was in the spring (Spring Romers rule!) and it was probably the most important part of my college career, after meeting my husband. In vague generalities, it showed me what another part of the world looked like and how different people lived. While we were there, the school arranged for us all to attend one of the Pope's regular Wednesday audiences. We showed up, sat in a huge auditorium and waited while the Holy Father made his way down the center aisle turning side to side as he went. Just about the time he passed the section we were sitting, he turned towards the opposite side of the aisle and I snapped this picture.

Check out all the early 90's tech on display!

This was the closest I ever got to him. And it wasn't even this close because I had a zoom lens. I never saw the twinkle in his eye. I never heard the encouragement of his voice stir my soul. I never felt his words or his touch or his blessing set my faith on fire. And yet, I cried like a baby the day he died. It never occurred to me until that moment that he was the only pope I'd ever known. The. Only. Pope.

It wasn't until he was gone that I realized what a quiet figure he had been. Not a tower of strength and support because I didn't pay attention like that. Not an spiritual icon to be loved and revered because I was pretty clueless. I can't credit a specific occasion with having affected my life profoundly... I guess it was just the slow and steady culmination of his teaching and example... of just being there for so long. He didn't knock me off my horse. There was no specific moment of conversion/reversion inspired directly by him. He had just always been there.

Until he wasn't.

What is that proverb? "You never know what you've got till it's gone." That was me. When I realized that my children would not know him, would never meet him, would probably not even remember him. I wept.

So, that's my story.
JPII, I do love you.

Catching up… on a Tuesday!

Pssssttttt… I am still closing the Etsy shop down for Holy Week and Easter Week, but I'm giving it a couple of extra days to stay open than what I originally thought I would. There are still two dolls and three kits available. I can get any of those items to you in the mail the day after you purchase them. So, if you're still looking for an Easter Basket idea you've got just a couple of extra days to do it. I will put the shop in vacation mode on Friday morning.

I've been catching up on some work I've needed to do here at home so it feels like I've been a little AWOL. I've been using the 7QT link up as a chance to kind of catch up on what's been going on, but here it is a Tuesday and I feel inclined to just chat.

We have another book club meeting coming up on Friday. It seems like a shorter time between this one and the last one because the last one was pushed back by a week. This month's book selection is The Prairie Thief by Melissa Wiley. I've got some simple, but fun activities planned. After reading the book, I just knew that I wanted a pail of hazelnuts on the table for decoration.

I called around and found out that hazelnuts, while always available up at the gourmet grocery store, are kind of expensive! I don't collect dues from the families who participate in our club, so everything I provide comes from a basic budget that I set in my mind. What do you do when hazelnuts threaten to break that budget?

Fill your pail with rice and only a shallow layer of hazelnuts on top. These kind of little things make me giddy. Weird. I know. You can breathe easy now that you know too. :)

Oh, something else I forgot to post about before… April Fool's Day. We usually try to play some kind of food prank on the kids. This year, I was sidelined with a strained muscle in my shoulder and just couldn't do anything creative. I know they were disappointed but I told them that I reserve the right to surprise them with a food prank at anytime in the coming months, when they least expect it! Mwah hah hah!!! On your guard, kids. You've been fairly warned.

The kids had fun playing some pranks though. Shortcake switched not only the kitchen drawers around, but all the cabinets too. So you thought you were grabbing a mug and got a plate instead. BigBoy changed the computer's and the iPad's wallpaper to a picture of himself blowing a raspberry with a caption that said, "April Fools!" Sunshine knitted these tiny little Adipose dolls (Doctor Who reference) and hid one for everyone to find (purses, sock drawer, school cubby). "The fat just walks away…" What is she trying to tell us? ;)

In other news, BigBoy got some braces put on his top teeth to help correct a pretty massive overbite situation. This is Phase One of his orthodontia treatment. He will get an expander in June for about 9 months and then Phase Two braces sometime when he's a teen. 

He was a little nervous before his appointment but very brave and gave me his best "evil grin" when we came back home and The Professor told him that he was now 0.02% cyborg (FoxTrot reference). 

Little Miss Cupcake is quite a handful these days as she asserts more and more of her strong will but we love her dearly. She is all fired up and ready for SUMMER! (She thinks spring is summer.) She insisted on wearing this little shrug I crocheted for Sunshine year ago to go along with one of her pretty new dresses. I think this one is her favorite from thredUP.

So, that's what's been going on over here. I'll be back later to post about the book club. I'm really excited about this one!

Life Observed

“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.” 

~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Thank you all for the beautiful outpouring of prayers and condolences for my brother and my whole family.

How does one follow a post like the one below? I just don't know. The way you get through grief is to just let it come when it will and then try to keep going, I guess. I really don't know. So... this is me, trying to keep going. Because as much as we would like life to just stop and wait for us to catch up, it's not like that, is it?

Jessica T. has a wonderful post on celebrating baptismal days today and I must admit, it's something that's been a nagging failure in the back of my mind. Other than writing the dates on the calendar and hearing someone say, "Oh, Happy Baptismal Day!", we've never really given much thought to the days. Well, this morning I sent the kids Papa Francesco's homework assignment and dug out all of their candles from their keepsake boxes, even Sean's. I can't find mine though :(. We'll see what we are inspired to do from here forward.

Having my husband home has given me time to nurture him with delicious breakfasts and lunches. He is typically a bring-something-quick-and-easy-that-he-can-eat-at-his-desk-while-he-drinks-his-coffee kind of guy. This week, I made him some Creamy Chicken Potato Leek Soup with roasted butternut squash "croutons". The soup was leftover from dinner the night before, I did not make it fresh. The "croutons" were not crispy (don't they look like little toasty croutons?)… but very flavorful and filling.

I've joined Miss Cari's Quilts of Valor project so I started watching some videos learning new stitches. It's been a long time since I embroidered anything but I think this service project is just the thing to focus on right now. The design options are pretty free and open ended, just something patriotic. I'm thinking I'd like to do something that reflects my grandfather's military service. Time to do a little family history project. Did you know that you can request the military records of a deceased veteran? I'd love to find out all that my Pawpaw did in the war, not just what he told us he did. This would probably take too long for Cari's project, it would be faster to call my Granny, but it's a neat idea.

Blue...

Not my mood, surprisingly. God has us in His hands, I just know it. It's been so dreary and grey outside these past few days. I needed to see some blue! Luckily, I only had to look around my kitchen this morning to see shades of blue. I'm not sure when blue became one of my favorite colors, but there is no denying it is now.

 The Professor has been down with a little cold. This little teapot is getting a workout.

 Our new art gallery calendar for 2014. (Affiliate link.)

 Chickpeas ready to be spiced and roasted. They tasted oh so good. Like a healthy version of a corn nut. If you know what a corn nut is, I love you!

She's not blue, but she sure is a little bit of sunshine!

What's your favorite color? Do you know why?

Feedback on your feedback...

First of all, thank you so much for your feedback, whether you left a comment or sent an email, I really do appreciate the time you took to share your thoughts with me. Let me just say first of all that I doubt I will ever quit blogging. Don't worry about that! Yes, there are moments of angst and moments of rethinking how I blog, but I am just enough of an extrovert that I need to keep blogging. But the hard part about being an extrovert who blogs is that extroverts don't just like to talk in a vacuum. It really is the give and take of the conversation that we thrive on, not just the talking. In fact, most people I know who love to just talk and talk and talk without really looking for feedback lean more to the introverted side. Not all introverts, just some.

One of the biggest things I've noticed about the change in blogging is that there are significantly less people commenting and that's across the board. Big blogs, small blogs, professional blogs. A friend pointed out that some very famous, big name bloggers who used to get hundreds of comments per post have dropped to less than a hundred on a regular post (hundreds only if it's a giveaway). I think there are a combination of factors that have contributed to this. Cell phone readers, the duplicity of places to comment (Instagram, FB, Twitter, etc…), and the natural changes in family life are all contributing factors. While I do believe that blogs are not dead, the heyday of blogging has come and gone and bloggers need to accept that.

 Change is inevitable in all things, including the blog world. When I mentioned "changes in family life" one of the things I meant was the way my family has grown. I will frequently walk by the family computer and see my kids reading my blog. So, I definitely consider them too when I blog now in a way that I didn't before. Three of them are now teenagers so respecting their privacy is a huge consideration.

I can't complain too much because I know that my personal commenting has changed. When I first started blogging, bloggers were also readers and commenters, not just bloggers. I made a commitment this week to try to increase my commenting but even then, I didn't get a chance to comment as much as I would have liked. Regarding the specific book club question I asked, I think what I had decided on was pretty much confirmed. I am going to continue blogging the way I have and if anyone needs specific details, they can email me for more info.

So, thank you so much for helping me work through this moment of reflection. Now, it's crunch time for Christmas prep. You all have a wonderful weekend!

Some feedback, please...

Doing a lot of thinking these days about the changes in the blog world and where and how I still fit in. I won't bore you with the details right now because they are still kind of rambling around in my head. I know I am not alone. And it's not some sort of pity party I want to have because I don't expect things to stay the same forever (no matter how much I might want them too). I know that people grow and change, so, it's kind of trying to find this old blog's place in all that newness.

Anyway, one of the things that I have noticed is that when I first started blogging, everyone was sharing ideas and thoughts. Sharing their own, or sharing what they had seen someone else do that inspired them in some small way. There were carnivals of loveliness with introductions to what someone had written instead of just cold, unfeeling linky-do thingamaboppers. (I'm kidding, sort of… those carnivals took a lot of time, I know! And a linkz thingy is so much easier and practical, but it seems like EVERYONE has a link-up going on these days, I can't even keep track of them all.) There were new ideas to celebrate ancient feast days and also the sharing of old traditions that had been in families for generations that were seeing the light of day in other parts of the country/world thanks to the internet.

Now, the blog world has become so chockfull of ideas that it feels overwhelming to a lot of people. I really don't want to add to that overwhelming feeling and I think maybe I have unknowingly because I was still blogging based on the premise that sharing our ideas and our talents so that they might inspire someone else was what it was all about.  I've always thought of this blog as a means of recording and archiving our days so that my children can look back on them someday and remember. But the fact of the matter is that it takes time to post things and if I knew that most people who still come to this place to read are just keeping up with someone they consider a family friend and not looking for ideas or to be inspired, then I would blog very differently. I was really intrigued when Sarah put up a survey and have thought of doing the same thing… but that takes time and now is not the season of extra time. So, let me just ask a quick question…

BigBoy's Kitchen Madonna in my kitchen. Didn't he do a great job?

The Book Club 9-1-1 posts… are you all interested in knowing in detail what we do or is it just something interesting to read about and then move on from? For example… our most recent meeting was to study and discuss The Kitchen Madonna by Rumor Godden {affiliate link}. It's one I've done before with my big kids. Last time I did it, there was a sizable outcrying of people who wanted specific information on the talk and the craft. This year's craft was a little different from the last one but writing up tutorials and publishing documents to Scribd takes time and I just don't feel like doing it if there isn't a sizable interest (meaning more than just a passing interest). So, I'd love to hear from you and please, don't be afraid to be honest with me. If you are not in a place to be actively interested in posts like this and while they interest you as a possible future idea, you really don't think you'd ever really sit down and attempt it, please let me know. If you like seeing the pretty pictures but really don't care about details, please let me know that. If you want details like where to buy and how much it costs and want templates to print off right now, let me know that too. I know everyone is super busy, so I really appreciate your feedback!

Like fireworks on the Fourth of July...

It's that time of year again, folks! 

The time of year when the Halloween/All Hallows Eve posts starting getting dredged up, passed around or published anew. Since imitation is the best form of flattery, let me just say in reference to that last link, "I'm soooo done apologizing for not liking Halloween!" There I said it. I just don't like it. And it's not because I think it's a secret Satanic celebration. It's not because I'm a helicopter mom who doesn't allow her children to move 2 feet away from her without a bike helmet and knee pads on lest someone skin their pwecious wittle knee. It's not because I think I'm a better/holier/truer Catholic for not celebrating it. I promise it's not. Please believe me, friend. We are on the same team, right?

Honestly, I don't like to be scared. I never have and my childhood "friends" can testify to that. (I'm looking at you Stephanie Durocher who used to delight in hiding around corners or behind doors and jumping out at me!) Roller coasters never interested me, spooky houses never even crossed my mind as a fun thing to do and it only took one Freddy Krueger movie to turn me off the whole scary movie genre. And my kids don't like to be scared. They like to be warned when a jump scene is coming up in a movie. They love watching battles but they don't like gore. They like to know where the Halloween section is at the local store so that they can avoid it because it creeps them out and will come back to haunt them at bedtime making their night (and my night) miserable. And frankly, some people, just don't get that or allow for that. They think we are wimps, coddling our girls or raising unmanly/wussie boys. We prefer to call them "gentlemanly" and they can describe for you in detail the differences between the various Gladiators who fought in Ancient Rome. They just don't want to watch Gladiator. Then again,  I didn't either... my dad made me and I kept my hands in front of my face the whole time.

Halloween 1999.
I made the Zebra costume and the pumpkin was a hand-me-down.

We tried trick or treating for the first three or four years of having kids and it just never clicked for us. Now, there are other reasons we don't trick or treat that include reasons like a neighborhood with rolling hills and fast driving teenagers, no side walks and very few street lights. But frankly, I know those are just our preferences and not really arguments. But I'm not here to argue about it. I'm perfectly happy to let you go pound on doors, scoop up all the free candy you want and eat it to your heart's content! In fact, I make sure we set out a bowl of candy no matter what we are doing so that we aren't perceived as spoilsports. If the first kid who comes along grabs all of the candy and runs, he's ruined it for everyone else, not me.

My candy for the neighborhood kids ready to go.
And it's the GOOD stuff!

So, why can't we be left alone to do things our way (usually focusing on getting a jump start on celebrating the Feast of All Saints) without it being implied that we have been influenced by Protestant thinking, are raising spiritual wimps or that we have "mommified" the fun out of this new ancient liturgical celebration of the "Hallowmas Triduum"? Oh my goodness, there is so much bad history there I can't stand it!

Aside... Hallowmas is a real word (it refers to the Mass of All Hallows just like Michaelmas is the Mass of St. Michael and Christmas is the Mass of Christ's Nativity) but there is not and never has been a Hallowmas Triduum! The word "Hallowmas" doesn't even include All Souls Day (which was added later) so how can it be coupled with the secular celebration of Halloween to create a "Triduum"? We are smarter than that, people! Just because someone wrote it on the internet doesn't make it true. /end rant

But it's really no surprise that there is so much bad history behind this holiday since most experts can't even agree on how the traditional American Halloween got started. Yes, Scottish immigrants probably brought over the idea of "guising", dressing up and going house to house performing for treats but that wasn't just an All Hallow's Eve custom.

In our country there are carried on at Christmas time a sport call’d Mummery by the English Borderers and Guisardery by the Scotch. ~Sir Walter Scott, 1826

Yes, people used to go begging for soul cakes in exchange for prayers but all indications say that was done on the eve of All Souls Day because people would have had extra food to celebrate the feast of All Saints and would probably be feeling more generous too, it wasn't an All Hallow's Eve tradition. Yes, it was a night to dress up and play tricks (as seen in the famous scene in Meet Me in St. Louis, but people can't even agree on when and how the treat aspect was introduced.

But it doesn't matter how it got started, it is what it is now. Kids get dressed up in fairy tale or scary tale garb and get to step out into the night (usually with the hand of Mom or Dad nearby) and knock on doors saying "trick or treat" when what they really mean is "Just treats, please!" and it's all innocent good fun and it's relatively easy and one less thing that makes you "weird" because it's something that can be shared and enjoyed with neighbors and friends no matter their political or religious beliefs.  Nobody likes feeling like the weirdo all the time.

You'll notice that I am intentionally ignoring all arguments about slutty costumes and freaky weirdos who answer the door with live snakes around their necks because I recognize that those are probably not the majority of the people participating in the kiddie fun.

All I ask is that you all who celebrate Halloween in the traditional American way (because they didn't do it in Europe until we imported it a few decades ago) please ignore the mostly Protestant condemnations of being Satan's spawn. Because, from what I can tell, it's not us, your fellow Catholics who are laying that charge on you. And if it is a fellow Catholic, it's most likely someone from a small group of radical traditionalists. You don't pay attention to them any other time of the year, so why start now? (UPDATE: I have been informed that some fellow Catholics who are not of the the Rad Trad variety are the ones saying that it's a Satanic celebration. Bad history, my friends! It's done so much damage. Don't let it do anymore.)

Halloween 2000
Oh YES I made that Thomas costume and then gave birth exactly 13 days later!
And that was before I started blogging. I did it just for him.

We, those of us who prefer to not trick or treat anymore, who prefer to focus our time and attention on the upcoming feast day for a myriad of reasons, are NOT saying you are bad, evil or less Catholic than us. So, why are we even talking about this? Why is this such a big deal for us to opt out? Nobody complains if we don't go watch fireworks on the 4th of July. Nobody writes posts about how Catholics need to embrace fireworks (um... please don't actually embrace the fireworks, m'kay?) and how celebrating the independence of our nation has religious significance as it represents our celebration of the free will that God gave each of us. Nobody says that people who are afraid of hurting themselves by shooting off fireworks have been secretly influenced by the insurance companies who are only trying to protect their profit margin when they caution people to be careful on the 4th of July. And nobody tries to justify their love of fireworks by making people who prefer to focus on red, white and blue themed parties instead of fireworks feel like they are just weird or wussies.

Just like fireworks on the 4th of July, Halloween is optional. If you want to celebrate it with princess zombies and pirate witches, go for it. Have a blast! But don't bully us for opting out. We promise not to call you Satanists, m'kay? And let's both agree to celebrate the feast day (you choose when you want to start) with just as much gusto and vivacity because that's what's really important, right?

Quickly popping in to say...

Sorry for the dump of coloring pages in your feed reader. There will be more. I'm trying to group all of the saints for a particular month together and then post them all at the same time. This makes it easier to create albums for the month over on Facebook.

This is only half!

Anyway... we are replacing the nasty, stained, matted down, 11 year old used-to-be-white-now-it's-kind-of-grey carpet in the kids' bedrooms this week (who puts white carpet in a kid's bedroom... a batchelor!!! That's who!) along with having baseboards replaced so we are in project mode over here and I don't know when I will get to pop in again. I painted 230 linear feet of baseboards over the weekend and now my back is yelling at me. Just shut up already! Not you... my back.

I did want to share a couple of things that were shared on FB this week because I found them so fascinating. First, teenager Ethan Metzger tells the Bronx Youth Poetry Slam what he responded when told his parents brainwashed him. The video of his presentation is kind of hard to understand at times plus I had to explain the snapping thing to my kids but it's worth watching. Maureen Witmann said, "As a mother of seven children, I can tell you it's pretty hard to brainwash kids. They still have free will. They still have thinking brains. They still see the world outside our walls. We set examples. We show them the world through our eyes. We share values. We demonstrate consequences of actions. But brainwash? As Ethan says here -- it's teaching." Amen!

And also, this photographer is doing something amazing...

It's so easy to forget that some of our feelings are about choice more than impulse. We can choose to love someone that we aren't in love with, choose to care for someone we don't naturally care for. Sometimes, it's a matter of creating the environment and then waiting for the feelings to come. Sometimes, just sharing an experience is what it takes to make a connection. Watch this.

Discussion: Secret Sedevacantists

Do you think it's dishonest for a sedevacantist to market their products, website and themselves to traditional Catholics who are faithful to the Magisterium without revealing their true schismatic practices and beliefs?

Anyone who knows Jessica over at Shower of Roses knows that she is one of the sweetest people, always willing to help. She takes time to create relationships with with people who read her blog and she always finds a way to be charitable and assume the best even of those who aren't always as charitable towards her. She recently found herself in an awkward position. She discovered that she had been used by a particular person to promote their bookstore and their products under the false pretense of believing they were a traditional Catholic family trying their best to help promote the faith with beautiful products meant to increase devotion and strengthen faith. In the course of her business conversation with this person about reviewing more of their products, it was revealed to her that this family practices sedevacantism. For those of you not familiar with sedevacantism, they don't believe in the validity of our Pope, or any of the priests who have been ordained, or even the validity of the Extraordinary Form Tridentine Mass, much less the Novus Ordo Mass.

Jessica felt that because she had unknowingly promoted this family's business in the past, she owed it to her readers to share this information with them so that everyone would be free to make their own decisions about how much business they were comfortable with giving this online bookstore. And now, she's taking a little heat in the comments. So far, only one comment, but it's a pretty mean comment. Again, Jessica handles it with a lot more charity than I think I would be capable of.

Here is my concern (other than for my sweet friend)... do you think these people should be more honest and specific about their practices before they take the money of traditional Catholics who might not even know that such a group actually exists?

When you go to their website, their header reads "Creating a Rich Catholic Family Life Based on the Catholic Church's Liturgical Year". On their blog, they host a feature called "Keeping It Catholic Monday". There is even a section of the website dedicated to the importance of keeping Sunday holy and the importance of going to Mass. This by a family that belongs to a schismatic group that won't attend even a Tridentine Mass because they don't believe that any current priests and Bishops are validly ordained, that the Pope is not the true Pope, that the seat of Peter is vacant. Sedevacantists don't recognize the validity of even Vatican I, much less Vatican II.

I can't even wrap my brain around it, but these people exist. We believe they have cut themselves off from the one true Church, but at the same time, they believe we are the ones who are following heretics (that would be all of the popes since Pius XII).

Some people might make the argument that the books they are reprinting are perfectly fine, just old, OOP Catholic books.  That they are just trying to sell good Catholic products to make a living and not influence anyone, which might be true. Jessica never says that people should boycott this store. But I can't help but think that if they didn't want to encourage people to their version of Catholicism, why not be honest about their position? Why not post it openly on their website, bookstore and blog? Why hide it? I don't understand the need to hide it unless it's because they know that most faithful Catholics wouldn't be comfortable purchasing their products. And that seems dishonest to me. If you have a different opinion, maybe you could share it and help me understand it. If you agree, it might be nice for Jessica to know that you appreciate her commitment to her readers and friends.

 

That Dove ad...

After the lambasting that the Dove Real Beauty Sketch commercial has been taking in the online world, I was starting to feel rather foolish for having liked it as much as I did. Maybe I'm just not a deep thinker. Maybe I just have more shallow expectations when it comes to commercials. But after having a debate on FB about some of the points in this specific criticism, I have this to say...

I get you... Dove ad.

And I feel your pain.

I too have tried to post what I hoped were inspirational things with a nice message on this here blog only to be told that I'm making someone feel inadequate.

Pictures of cakes and cupcakes I have decorated were seen as attempts to make the mom with Little Debbie and Sara Lee in her pantry feel like a domestic failure. Posts about a reorganization of my laundry room/spice cabinet/linen closet/bookshelves were seen as ways to humiliate the woman with laundry piled on her bed and books stacked on the floor.

I have been told that my blog (and others like it) is a source for negative comparison, inspiration for inadequacy, a place to go when someone "wanted to feel like a terrible mother" and very specifically, "the nail in the coffin" that ended one women's online perusing. 

Ouch.

So, I guess that's why I feel sympathetic to the Dove ad and kind of annoyed that people are trying to see the negative in it no matter what. Do I think Dove is trying to sell something here... sure. That's their job. They haven't been too cagey or clever about hiding that fact. Do I think they are trying to subtly manipulate people into swallowing already stereotyped standards of beauty? Nope. Do I think it's filled with theological and philosophical implications? Heavens no. It's just a commercial.

It is edited, obviously. We don't get a chance to hear what specific questions the artist asked of the subjects. We don't get to see all 10 hours (or however long) of filming. Is this editing evidence of a kind of manipulation? If you consider anything that is edited in any way a form of manipulation then I guess this commercial could be considered manipulative. But then so would every book, every news article, every cropped photo, every song ever recorded, oh yeah... and every blog post.

Rather than pulling the post below and feeling silly about ever having posted it like I want to do right now, I'm going to swallow my pride and just say this... think of it what you will. I think it's an interesting commercial with a nice message. Women tend to be their own worst critics whether that has to do with beauty, intellect, crafting skills or domestic ability. What you see as your biggest flaws, most people probably wouldn't even notice at all.

That is all. :)
 

{phfr} Habemus Papam!

~ Capturing the context of contentment in everyday life ~ with the lovely ladies at Like Mother, Like Daughter

{pretty}

 I've had this Rycraft cookie stamp of St. Lucy for several years now and I just got two more...

A moon (so that Cupcake can always have moon cookies) and a tea cup. Aren't they so pretty! I took this picture after I finished using them. The flour in the crevices highlights the design better.

{happy}

We were very happy to shout "Habemus Papam!" Shortcake and Cupcake were sitting together when the white smoke came out. Cheers and jubilation soon followed. God bless Pope Francis!

{funny}
Apparently apples are more important to the under two crowd than a new pope. It's understandable. Apples are pretty awesome. (Feed readers will have to click through to see the video.)

Make a video - it's fun, easy and free!
www.onetruemedia.com

{real}

I promise, I'm not trying to make Auntie Leila feel bad. I wrote this section before I read about her sewing machine and the mixup with the glue and the oil. I'm so sorry. I hope it's fixable!

 I feel like I've accomplished something real when I get a chance to sit down at the sewing machine. Thanks to my husband and big kids for holding down the fort while I sew.

I made two blankets recently. This one is for Cupcake who likes to have a nest of blankets around her when she sleeps. The fabric is called Vintage Circus and I love it! I thought it looked kind of Curious George inspired when I first saw it. While I was checking out, the lady at the counter said, "That reminds me of Curious George!" True story!

And this one for a sweet little boy who is hopefully coming to Texas some day with his family.  I wasn't sure of the colors in the blanket when I had it all disassembled, but I think it really came together in the end. The kids commented that the bandanas looked like blue jeans and the boots only added to the effect. I'm calling it Blue Jeans and Boots. Original, I know. But it fits. 
I don't know why the funky formatting. I think the video embed is throwing things off. I didn't get this posted yesterday but Auntie Leila says it's OK, so... happy Friday!

Going out of business

Our sweet friends from college along with their ten beautiful children ( Ten, right? I think it's ten. Did I miss one, Ian?), who have owned and faithfully run Aquinas and More Catholic Goods, have prayerfully decided to close their online doors. Their physical store closed a little while ago and the online store will close on February 28th. Please consider making a purchase now! Everything in stock is 20% off. And know that your purchase is helping this lovely family to close their business with as little debt as possible. Not to mention, helping you to stock up and be extra prepared for some feast days and liturgical celebrations coming up! Thanks!

 

Boring bloggers...

Barbara in OH writes this morning:

 I am thinking... 

...that I have become the most boring blogger. Time to pack it in? I'm hanging on with the hope that I will be inspired some day soon to write very interesting posts. Until then, it's Daybooks and sewing posts. My apologies.

And this is something I've been thinking about a lot too. Not the packing it in part because frankly, I don't think I could give it up all together. My blog is my memory annex and without it I wouldn't be able to remember half the stuff that happened over the year. But feeling like a boring blogger... yeah, I get that.

I think it's partly the fault of the time of year. The holidays, with all their excitement, are over and life feels more boring right now. My living room certainly looks more boring with all the decorations taken down. :( No longer are my thoughts turned to feasting, festivity and play, but rather "let's get back on track" (food, money, chores, school... you pick the subject) and "I need to make those dentist appointments". And if you happen to live somewhere where it's too cold to go outside long enough to run an errand or run to the library, then it's even worse in my opinion.

So, my point is... life is kind of boring right now for all of us. But I think reading someone else's boring blog post is like calling up an old friend to chat about nothing in particular. It's just nice to hear their voice.

Gratuitous baby shot. Yes, she is hugging a giant teal platypus wearing a fedora. Why, you ask? Because her daddy is a sucker for baby giggles.

Electoral College for Kids

This is a repost from 2008:

This is a condensed version of a presentation my kids were given many years ago. It really helped them understand the electoral college system and the difference between that and the popular vote.

For some reason, my kids kept getting confused by the fact that the word "vote" was being used for the people and the electoral college so on the way home I told them to think of the electoral college votes as marbles. Whichever candidate won the state of Texas would get the number of marbles assigned to Texas and that the ultimate winner was the person who had the most marbles at the end of the race. (Husband just piped up as I was writing this with, "Yeah, the guy who doesn't win usually loses his marbles!) That seemed to help them understand it a little better especially when we talked about the reasoning behind the system.

First, explain to the children that the winner of the presidential race is the one who has the most marbles in his bag, not the most people voting for him. Explain also that each state was granted a certain number of electoral marbles based on the same population percentage that is used to determine the number of seats that state has in the House of Representatives. Each state was also granted two extra electoral marbles which were representative of the two seats each state has in the Senate. Mrs. B created a fictional land called the United States of Fictionalia that consisted of only three states instead of fifty. Here is my representation of her fictional country:The state of Agraria has a population of 85,000 and has a total of 19 electoral college marbles to put in the presidential election pot. Coastalina is a smaller state with a smaller population of 35,000. They have been given a total of 9 electoral marbles. The state with the largest population is Metropolis with 110,000 people and a grand total of 24 electoral marbles.

It's easy for the kids to see that in order to get the most marbles, the candidates would naturally be drawn to the state with the most marbles up for grabs (in this case, Metropolis) but you can use the following three possible outcomes to show how the founding fathers believed that the electoral college process would help ensure that the less populated states like Coastalina would not be overlooked by the candidates; they too would have their interests addressed.

A PDF file of the possible outcomes can be found here.

In the first scenario, represented by the first table, candidate Gene wins by claiming the marbles from the two smaller states together. In the second table, Bob wins easily by claiming the electoral marbles from the two biggest states. The third table demonstrates how Bob wins the election with the most number of marbles even though Gene had the most number of people vote for him; he won the popular vote.

And that's about it. If you want to color your own copy of Fictionalia to use with the explanation, click here. A breakdown of the real electoral college marbles votes per state can be found in this Wikipedia article in map form.

Catching up...

Melissa Wiley of the fabulous supermodel hair, linked to this post on FB the other day and it really struck a chord with me, especially the last lines...

"And then there is this blog. The original social network. It’s not going anywhere. Writing stuff here is cathartic for me. Readers are a bonus, but not really required. I may be down 90% since the readership peak in 2006, but I’m still about 1000% above what I ever imagined this could be when O’DonnellWeb 1.0 launched in 1995. So to both of you, thanks for reading "

So, I sat down to write this post because I feel like my poor little blog has been abandoned and yet it's the place I love more than any other online because I can find my family here. I feel like I've been throwing up a post here and there when I get a chance and now... I can't think of anything to say. So, here is some randomness.

1. I took Cupcake to the giant BRU and we test drove just about every lightweight stroller model they had including all of the ones you lovely ladies recommended. I think we need to give serious consideration to the only one that made her coo. Seriously. She was cooing riding around in the B-Agile! Our closest two stores were completely sold out of them. The salesman told me they usually sell out as soon as they get a shipment in. I guess they must be popular!

Cupcake was such a crabby butt that day after having a horrible night (more teeth), I swear her only happy moment all day was sitting and riding in that stroller. I was tempted to tell them, you either sell me the floor model or I'm walking out the door with it right now. Reason eventually kicked in and we left, sans stroller, but I loaded up a bunch of stuff to sell to the baby resale shop on the corner and we are on our way to getting one. I did look on Craigslist for a used one but all I saw were wanted ads. The resale value on these seems to be totally worth the expense.

2. One thing I did discover about my daughter is that she doesn't like snack trays. She cried at every stroller I put her in that had one. Weird, huh?

3. And... I'm kind of giddy thinking about the cooler weather coming and going for walks with a happy cooing baby. I just might even try jogging with it. Who knows!

4. With the cooler weather approaching, projects are now first on our minds. I need to paint Cupcake's closet. Then we can put new carpet in her room. I hate carpet, but our bedrooms are so tiny and I want them to feel cozy. I had tile in one of my bedrooms growing up and cozy would not be the first word I would use to describe it. As much as I don't like carpet, I kind of can't think of anything else for a bedroom. Anyone have wood in their bedrooms? What do you think of it? What do your kids think of it?

5. We had some roof damage with a couple of summer storms that came through so that project is first on the list. We think we need half of the roof replaced. The roofer and the insurance guy are still chatting about it. One of these weeks soon we will have a full day of stomping and pounding. I'm thinking we will take our school work to the library that day.

6. Other projects include cleaning out the attic and the garage. Nothing like having a new baby after 7 years of not to help you realize that all that baby stuff you saved is totally worthless! Also, painting the boys' room and the girls' room and the hallway. We could have painted over the summer, but I like to do it when I can open a window.

Ok, that's all I can think of right now. I know this doesn't make up for months of neglect, but hopefully it's a start. : )

Granny

A few weeks ago, my granny fell while getting the mail. She broke her tailbone and her pelvic bone. The woman will be 90 this August so it could have been a much worse fall. She has been in a rehab center doing therapy to try to heal (it's not like they can put her in a cast). She is the last grandparent I have alive and my children's only great-grandparent. We made the decision to go see her last Friday. Four hours there with a 6 month old wasn't fun. 6.5 hours to get back felt like pure torture. But seeing this picture that my dad took makes me smile. I know it was worth it.

Her name is Marion but she has always been "Granny" to me. On FB I said:

She's diabetic, so I don't know if that complicates the injury. She's ok for now, just in a lot of pain, poor dear. And yes, I feel a little bit like Lady Mary when I talk about my Granny. She's the Southern Baptist version of the Dowager Countess and could totally give Dame Maggie a run for her money! : )

Sometimes I say "Granny" with a British accent just for fun. Now I want some tea.