Tuesday, June 5, 2007

On Notice

Attention intolerable tenants:

You are hereby notified that your tenancy is terminated as of June 12th, 2007 whereupon you are requested to quit and vacate this residence. This notice to vacate is due to the following breach of tenancy:

Deterioration beyond normal wear and tear
The refusal to stay with the sole mate assigned to you
The continual use of unauthorized storage facility (laundry basket)

The management is not responsible for any of the conditions that might have contributed to these breaches, ie... children sliding around without protective covering, ingesting of aforementioned mate by large electric appliances, or laziness on the part of the laundry folder.

I will have no choice but to take such action as is required to evict you from the premises...
1. if your disintegration cannot be mended.
2. if the appropriate match cannot be found.
3. if you cannot be permanently relocated to an authorized storage facility (drawer).

You are, in any event, responsible for the use and occupancy charges for the time you occupied these premises: time lost, square footage wasted, sanity squandered. I also reserve the right to accept any sense of satisfaction received from removing you from the premises without the responsibility of establishing new tenancy.

Your aggreived landlord


  1. Don't throw out -- just change their available storage facility :o). They make great dust rags -- just put them in the rag bin!

  2. Ha! Funny! Thanks for the giggle this morning!

  3. Hmmm... perpetual servitude? I like the way you think.

  4. There companion must live here... I have several that have been excommunicated and must make reparation before rejoining the ranks. Until then they are left were the others can see so that the same fate will not fall upon them! :-) You crack me up, girl.

  5. So funny! But...throwing out socks means buying new socks and there is nothing better than new socks!! Thanks for the laugh!

  6. This is extremely clever and very well done. Thanks for the smile! :)


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