Thursday, June 11, 2009

Thinking out loud

Blog worthy

What is "blog worthy"? What does that phrase mean to you?

I have heard people complain that blogs are too lovely. They create a false sense of perfection. They don't give the reader an opportunity to see the ugly, dirty, nitty-gritty side of day to day life. Bloggers will defend themselves and each other by reminding those critics that blogs are places specifically created to be beautiful. Sometimes a mom needs a beautiful place to record the loveliness otherwise she might be tempted to succumb to the nitty gritty. At the end of the day she might not be able to see the lovely for the laundry. To this person, "blog worthy" isn't a condition of pride, it's a coping mechanism.

I have heard people use the phrase "it just wasn't blog worthy" to describe something silly that happened or an idea that they had that they chose not to post on their blog. Mostly, it's been in reference to something they decided to share in a more temporary way. I would find it too exhausting to compartmentalize like that, but I tend to over think everything. I don't understand the desire to separate different aspects of my life but that doesn't mean that it serves no purpose. Perhaps it is another form of coping for the person who is too afraid to look at their whole self honestly. Maybe it helps to break the mirror into manageable pieces. For me, it would be too much of a temptation to not see the whole me and convince myself that I was something I'm not.

I have found myself without anything to say during different seasons of my time in the blogging world. That is a strange feeling because obviously, things are happening here at home and in the world. For example, we have been to the pool which required purchasing a new swim suit (and lots of therapy) and obviously I didn't blog about those things. Was it because I didn't consider them "blog worthy"? Maybe. I don't recall hearing that phrase in my head, but maybe the sentiment was there. I know that I shared our fun on Trinity Sunday, but I didn't post about the personal frustrations that led up to those moments. How can frustrations result in a cooking craft you ask? You'd have to be in my head.

After having stated on several occasions that I have no desire to reconnect with people from high school, I actually did reconnect with a lovely friend and found that she has grown and changed in similar ways and that now we find ourselves on common ground thinking about and pondering the important things in life and enjoying this place that age, maturity and faith have brought us. I could have blogged about that, but I didn't (except, I think I just did but you know what I mean). I still don't have a strong desire to attend any reunions or join the FB alumni page. This friend is a one in a million kind of girl. I don't expect there are many more out there like her.

Like the title says, I'm just thinking out loud. But these are all things I am pondering in my heart and trying to discern what they mean to me. What is "blog worthy"? Should the notion of what is and isn't "blog worthy" even be a factor in what I decide to post in this space I have carved out for me and my family? One thing I know for sure is that I want this space to be for me a true reflection of my family's life. It is going by so fast it seems and I want to hold on to the memories for better or for worse. I want it to also be a place that challenges me to do better and be better than I have in the past and to chronicle my successes and failures in those areas. I need to remember my blessings when I am tempted to only see the failures and remember the failures that will hold me accountable to that firm purpose of amendment required for absolution but always carefully walking that fine line between acknowledging my failures and obsessing about them. I think joining Ann's Gratitude Community is a good place to start. It's definitely an exercise that is blog worthy by anyone's definition.


  1. Very nice and thought provoking.

  2. Good post. I want my blog to be a happy place; I have enough negativity going on in my head. I don't need to perpetuate it. It's a way for me to actively seek out the positive. I'm not sure I always succeed.

    I know exactly what you mean about connecting with high school "friends." Many have changed, but I don't know of any that have changed the same way I have.

  3. I think it's important for me just to be honest. I think some people misconstrue "honesty" to mean "negativity", but when I'm being honest I know that no day is entirely negative, and it's important for me to chronicle my life mostly as it really is. Of course there are some things I don't think are appropriate for sharing in such a public forum -- anything that would embarrass or hurt my family is off limits -- but I don't think I'm doing anyone any favors if I make it sound as if my life comes off without a hitch and is only filled with beautiful things. Personally I like to see how others have dealt with their difficulties and were still able to see the positive... and I also like to know that I am not the only one dealing with these dicciulties. Sometimes it just helps to know that you're not alone.

  4. Just listening out here, to whatever you have to say.

  5. Charlotte...thank you for an incredibly thought-provoking post. As one who has just recently taken her blog to "private," I've long struggled with the realization that my blog was meant for me...for my a means of recording all those things too precious to forget. In the midst of a chaotic day, it allowed me to regroup, focus on the "lovely and not the laundry."

    One of the most hurtful things I've experienced of late was meeting a group of moms that I didn't know...but they ALL knew me. Or at least they thought they did. They were reading my blog and had made many assumptions about who and what I was about. One of the moms told me she liked my blog...BUT...regularly deleted it from her google reader because it was just too sweet.

    Too sweet.

    I have a million and one angsts...and I've shared one or two, but sweet is what I long for. It's the part of life that is so often missing in the "nitty-gritty."

    It's okay to be sweet. I can't imagine that I'll ever view my own life in any other terms, no matter the suffering.

    Blog the sweet. "Sufficient unto the day is the evil thereof..."

    I soooo enjoy your blog, Charlotte. Blogworthy is whatever you're blogging...

  6. One of the moms told me she liked my blog...BUT...regularly deleted it from her google reader because it was just too sweet.

    Oh Kimberly,

    I am so sorry that those women hurt your feelings and thank you for your kind words!

  7. I find that what I write about on my blog changes all the time. Sometimes it's a whim of the day, sometimes things seem to follow seasons. For a while I'll be writing mostly about cute things the kids do, especially when they seem to be going through one of those developmental spurts when new things are happening every five seconds. At other times I seem to be mostly interested in writing about what I'm reading and a spate of book posts pours out. Other times it's just the minutiae of our days. And sometimes I feel inspired to write something long and thoughtful.

    The thing is that while I love having guests at my blog to join in the conversation and keep me feeling like I'm talking at the walls, the primary reason I blog is for myself. After pondering this question, I finally decided that I blog because I'm a writer and writing is just something I have to do. It comes as naturally to me as eating. I try not to over think what I'm writing about at any given time or how I might be perceived by my readers. I know that all my blog does is provide a very small and selective window into whatever slice of my life I am currently feeling compelled to write about and if people get a false impression, well too bad because I'm not writing to make an impression on anyone.

    Everyone has different reasons for blogging and I think the main thing is to be true to yourself and not worry too much about what everyone else thinks, though that can be hard when comments pull you this way and that.

    Thank you for thinking out loud. I'm always intrigued to glimpse bits of how and why other people write. It's such an intensely personal activity and yet here on the internet a communal one as well. Not really surprising I suppose that sometimes those create odd tensions. I think what you are doing is just fine. Write about what you want to write about, share what you want to share. Don't feel like you have to explain yourself or get it all in.

  8. I know what you mean. I'm sort of out of sorts right now not knowing what I should blog. Now that I have followers I feel I don't want to be too boring for them.

  9. I echo the "Oh Kimberly." I can't think of much that would knock me down faster than that.

    I ask myself these questions often, and I don't have any better answers. These days I am lucky to have a moment to reflect and blog at all, and whatever pops out of my mind or my camera will have to do as "blogworthy."

    As a reader, I'm firmly in the camp of sweet instead of sour, with occasional dashes of reality thrown in.


Thank you for sharing your thoughts and yourself!