Tuesday, October 13, 2009

On the proper care and handling of introverts...

Do you know someone who needs hours alone every day? Who loves quiet conversations about feelings or ideas, and can give a dynamite presentation to a big audience, but seems awkward in groups and maladroit at small talk? Who has to be dragged to parties and then needs the rest of the day to recuperate? Who growls or scowls or grunts or winces when accosted with pleasantries by people who are just trying to be nice?

If so, do you tell this person he is "too serious," or ask if he is okay? Regard him as aloof, arrogant, rude? Redouble your efforts to draw him out?

If you answered yes to these questions, chances are that you have an introvert on your hands—and that you aren't caring for him properly.


The worst of it is that extroverts have no idea of the torment they put us through. Sometimes, as we gasp for air amid the fog of their 98-percent-content-free talk, we wonder if extroverts even bother to listen to themselves. Still, we endure stoically, because the etiquette books—written, no doubt, by extroverts—regard declining to banter as rude and gaps in conversation as awkward. We can only dream that someday, when our condition is more widely understood, when perhaps an Introverts' Rights movement has blossomed and borne fruit, it will not be impolite to say "I'm an introvert. You are a wonderful person and I like you. But now please shush."

Go read the whole article here. I'll be quiet now.

HT: Andrea (who sure had me fooled! : )


  1. What a great article! Thanks for sharing the link.

    Oh and by the way, your electrical post was amazing! (I just hadn't had a chance to comment.) =)

  2. I agree. I sound just like that. Great post.

  3. A great article! Now if someone would just give this to my mother. . .

  4. See, I told my husband I'm not rude :-).

  5. Very good article. My hubby is an introvert. He's a counselor, so has to deal with people all day, and their problems, so when he comes home, that's what he wants...home.

    If we have something to go to on a weekend, he can only handle one thing. His weekend cannot be packed full of stuff, he will not make it.

    I understand these things about him and even though, it is hard at times (well, all the time) I accept it, I accept him, I just wish other people understood him and accepted him as I do, and would quit asking "where's Tom?" "Why didn't he come?" and their look of "how can she put up with that?" Or their judgement that he doesn't treat me right or I'm not happy because he doesn't go to all these social events.

    I am happy, he treats me wonderful and I love him, just the way he is.

  6. I love it!! When I used to wait tables I was very good at being sociable and charming but when it came to small groups I was more nervous. I'm getting better at being in small groups of people, though, when I don't know them very well.

    Thank you for posting.

  7. Love it...What a cute blog name....so glad to find your blog...Just out blog hopping on tonight...really should be working... Hope you will stop by my Christmas blog and leave your favorite Christmas song...and enter a great giveaway. Also, a birthday letter to my daughter on my main blog...http://teresa-grammygirlfriend.blogspot.com/

  8. I'm an introvert too! Great article. Glad the bathroom lights got fixed. I just love how God works in mysterious ways. Thanks for all the coloring pages. The kids are loving them!

  9. Totally my husband. But, I love him for it. He's our pool of calm in an otherwise chaotic world. We know to cherish that in him and shield him from the chaos to the extent it's possible. And I occasionally remember to not be offended when he tunes out my chatter...

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  11. Absolutely sublime writing, I enjoyed this part about extraverts - "their 98-percent-content-free talk". This made me laugh hard. Ohh the greatness. Introverts need to unite!


Thank you for sharing your thoughts and yourself!