In an email I sent off to a friend who was checking in the other day I admitted that I really wasn't ready for this weekend.
Honestly, I would rather celebrate any other holiday this weekend than Mother's Day. Let's have a second go at St. Paddy's Day or what about National Train Day? I vote for that. Why? Because as much as I might want to be alone with the sorrow of a little one lost, I have four beautiful children here on earth who want to celebrate with me. They have already been pestering their father to make sure he doesn't forget and making secret arrangements behind closed doors.
I love them, I treasure them, I delight in them and yet... I know I'm not going to be able to keep a smile on my face all day. I know that at some point, I'm going to lose all control and giving into the weight of a heavy heart, sob in silence where I might not be heard, but knowing that the stains on my face will scream my shame. They have already endured so much of that these past few weeks, I can't bear to let them witness any more, especially on a day they want to rejoice.
So, in this email to a friend of the heart, I said that this weekend should be all about the Blessed Mother, for she alone knows all of the joys and pains of a mother's heart. I had no idea how to accomplish this at the time of writing, but then, in a moment of need, another friend comes along with an idea that acts like a balm to my aches and pains.
Kimberlee is hosting a Marian themed ATC swap for the month of May. You can read the details here. Kimberlee has generously opened it up to all ages which put a huge smile on BigBoy's face! So, this weekend we will work on ATC cards honoring the mother of Our Lord and hope and pray that the distraction of paint and pencil will keep the sorrow at bay, that every stroke and scratch I help them place will be accepted as a prayer for help and comfort. That in honoring the Blessed Mother, I can honor those sweet souls who make me a truly blessed mother.