"Hi there, we are here with Cupcake this morning talking about what it's like to be 11 months. Cupcake, can you share with us some of the highs and lows of being just shy of one year old?"
Are you talkin' to me? I don't remember agreeing to this interview.
"Can you tell us how you've been sleeping these days? We understand that sometimes that can be a rough time for everyone involved."
On the advice of my counsel, I respectfully decline to answer based on my Fifth Amendment constitutional privilege...
"What about your eating habits, would you care to share those with our readers?"
Well, I'm not sure what to say other than sometimes I really like to eat and sometimes I get a little distra... hey, is that a bird outside?
I'm sorry, what was the question?
Are we done here yet? No? Well, do you mind if I do something else while you ask these questions?
You see, these books need tending to. If I don't take them off the shelf atleast three times a day, they just sit there getting dusty. It's my job to keep them rotated and fresh for the big kids around here. They depend on me, you know, to keep things running.
"You don't think they would say that they keep things running smoothly? I mean they help your Mom and Dad with the cooking and the cleaning and the laundry and they even take care of you sometimes when you've had a terrible night with little to no sleep and you just want to fuss and yell all day long."
HEY? Do you think it's easy growing these white things in my mouth? They hurt and they make me cranky and there really isn't anything that makes me feel better except nursing...
...and I said I wasn't going to talk about the sleep thing, OK?
Mommy, can I have a nursey?