*title compliments of my witty friendToday was our trail ride. We were given our helmets. We were given our instructions. We were given our horses; Apache, Joker and Titan. I was hoping for Mosey, Sir Naps-alot and Pokey Slow Joe. (Decrepit would have been an acceptable mount as well.)
Can I just say... horse people speak a different language.
Horse people say: Oh, he's a good horse! Very quiet and docile.
What horse people really mean: You will have no say in what he does or when he does it. He will follow the other horses in everything they do even if you don't want him to including taking the low road when you clearly indicated the high one!
Horse people say: He's got personality!
What horse people really mean: He's a bum biter. If he gets bored he starts to daydream about a ripe, juicy apple bobbing along in front of him that he just can't help but take a bite out of which the horse in front of him will not like.
Horse people say: We've seen lots of deer and other critters on the trails lately!
What horse people really mean: Hold onto your saddle and keep your eyes open at all times because anything from a buck to a bobcat might dart out at any minute and horses really don't like that.
Horse people say: You might be a little sore in the morning.
What horse people really mean: Take some advil, a bottle of wine and go sit in the tub because your muscles aren't going to forgive you until sometime next week.
Little girls say: Sniff, sniff. I miss my horse already.
Mommy says: Oh, dear Lord, please don't make me do this again!
Little girls say: That was so much fun!
What little girls really mean: Thank you.