Kari's Birthday

“The death of a beloved is an amputation.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

 Today, my brother's sweet wife, Kari, would have been 28 years old. She left this world very young. Please offer a prayer for the repose of her soul and for the peace and comfort of the family she left behind, especially my brother and her parents, brother and niece. Grief is a process, a journey. It's not over in a day. It comes and goes. You want the world to just stop while you deal with it, but life always goes on.

“For in grief nothing "stays put." One keeps on emerging from a phase, but it always recurs. Round and round. Everything repeats. Am I going in circles, or dare I hope I am on a spiral?
But if a spiral, am I going up or down it?
How often -- will it be for always? -- how often will the vast emptiness astonish me like a complete novelty and make me say, "I never realized my loss till this moment"? The same leg is cut off time after time.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

We have decided to honor Kari's memory with a donation to the Education Fund of the Lady Bird Johnson Wildflower Center (and also with a Mass). We plan for this to be a yearly gift. Kari was a teacher, a Texas girl through and through and she loved flowers. It's just a small little thing, this gift of ours, but I hope it will help us remember her in the years to come and what a gift she was to my brother and this world even though she was only here for a short while.

“I see people, as they approach me, trying to make up their minds whether they'll 'say something about it' or not. I hate if they do, and if they don't.” ― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

“Her absence is like the sky, spread over everything."
― C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Eternal rest, grant unto her O Lord and may perpetual light shine upon her.

May her soul and all the souls of all the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace. Amen.

Life Observed

“I thought I could describe a state; make a map of sorrow. Sorrow, however, turns out to be not a state but a process.” 

~ C.S. Lewis, A Grief Observed

Thank you all for the beautiful outpouring of prayers and condolences for my brother and my whole family.

How does one follow a post like the one below? I just don't know. The way you get through grief is to just let it come when it will and then try to keep going, I guess. I really don't know. So... this is me, trying to keep going. Because as much as we would like life to just stop and wait for us to catch up, it's not like that, is it?

Jessica T. has a wonderful post on celebrating baptismal days today and I must admit, it's something that's been a nagging failure in the back of my mind. Other than writing the dates on the calendar and hearing someone say, "Oh, Happy Baptismal Day!", we've never really given much thought to the days. Well, this morning I sent the kids Papa Francesco's homework assignment and dug out all of their candles from their keepsake boxes, even Sean's. I can't find mine though :(. We'll see what we are inspired to do from here forward.

Having my husband home has given me time to nurture him with delicious breakfasts and lunches. He is typically a bring-something-quick-and-easy-that-he-can-eat-at-his-desk-while-he-drinks-his-coffee kind of guy. This week, I made him some Creamy Chicken Potato Leek Soup with roasted butternut squash "croutons". The soup was leftover from dinner the night before, I did not make it fresh. The "croutons" were not crispy (don't they look like little toasty croutons?)… but very flavorful and filling.

I've joined Miss Cari's Quilts of Valor project so I started watching some videos learning new stitches. It's been a long time since I embroidered anything but I think this service project is just the thing to focus on right now. The design options are pretty free and open ended, just something patriotic. I'm thinking I'd like to do something that reflects my grandfather's military service. Time to do a little family history project. Did you know that you can request the military records of a deceased veteran? I'd love to find out all that my Pawpaw did in the war, not just what he told us he did. This would probably take too long for Cari's project, it would be faster to call my Granny, but it's a neat idea.

Eternal rest...

...grant unto her, O Lord, and let perpetual light shine upon her. May her soul and all the souls of the faithful departed, through the mercy of God, rest in peace.

Please continue to pray for my brother, Brian, and for all of the family and friends that she leaves behind. Thank you.

Kari loves daisies...

Prayers continue for my brother and his lovely bride. She is still in hospice care right now. My mom says she can feel the peace and strength and calm that the graces from your prayers are providing. Kari loves spring flowers, especially daisies. We sent an arrangement to the hospice center on Saturday and called to make sure there were lots of daisies in it. Thankfully, although not yet spring, they had lots of purple daisies on hand.

The latest update from my brother last night was that she was resting comfortably and would hopefully be at peace soon. Even though he knows this has been a heartbreaking situation, he believes that God has better plans for Kari.

Please keep them both in your prayers.

Prayers, please, for Brian and Kari...

I was all set to come here today and do some silly little quick takes about how slowly life is going right now, how many dried beans and lentils I'm finding stuck to the bottom of my feet (because they are Miss Cupcake's favorite playthings right now),  how the weirdest thing about having my husband laid off is that I don't know what day of the week it is. I was also hoping to give you some good news about my SIL, Kari. She's been at the rehab center this past week and has made some great strides. She was sitting in a chair, watching the news, opening her mouth, communicating with hand squeezes just the other day… lots of really wonderful stuff. But the word from my brother now is that she's back in the ER as of 3 am with a pretty serious infection (they think) and her doctors are very worried.

So, forget my inane prattle, and please, please take a minute to pray for this beautiful young lady who is fighting the fight of her life right now. And please pray for my brother too who can't bear to see the woman he loves suffer so much.


UPDATE: Her family is gathering at the hospital. Kari has pneumonia and they don't think she will be with us much longer. Please pray for peace for her and my brother and the family and all the friends who love her very much.

UPDATE #2: Kari is being moved to hospice care.

From their wedding June 2011

Update on my SIL

Please keep the prayers coming! The latest update from Kari's mom is that even though this second stroke was bigger than the one she suffered on Thanksgiving, Kari is already showing signs of recovery from it. Very slow, very small signs but good signs!

I have to admit that I don't know Kari very well. She has only been married to my brother for a couple of years and we don't live near each other. I have gotten to know her better via FB (it's the love part of that love/hate relationship I have with it). I know that Kari is a teacher who teaches high school history. She gets very excited when the new school year rolls around and I'm sure she's missing all of her students right now. She has also recommended resources for us to use in our homeschool. The fact that she's so positive about homeschooling tells me she really loves education. She also loves all things "country". She's a Texas girl through and through. And has a little niece that she adores and who clearly loves spending time with Aunt Kari. I blocked her face since she's not my child but trust me, the smiles are equally as sparkling on both these faces.

The other thing I've learned in the short time I've known her, and this is the most important thing, is that Kari is a fighter! This lovely lady has had a total of 4 major strokes in her young life not to mention arterial bypass surgery. But she's not giving up the fight, so nobody better think about counting her out! Please continue to pray for her strength and for my brother's strength too. Thank you!

Please pray...

I haven't mentioned this here out of respect for my brother's privacy, but the situation has had yet another set back and I think the prayers would help. His beautiful young wife, Kari, suffered a massive stroke on Thanksgiving morning (the third she's had in the past few years). She was taken to the hospital near my mom's house and then later was transferred to a hospital near where they live and put under the care of her doctors. Kari has a very rare disease that makes her prone to strokes.

The doctors now think she has now suffered a fourth stroke while she was recovering from the third one. She had just shown some progress in her recovery that gave them hope that she could be moved to a rehab center soon. This is yet another blow to that glimmer of hope.

Please pray for Kari's healing and for God's will to be done always. Please pray for my brother Brian's strength in persevering through this difficult time. Please pray for the doctors and nurses caring for her to have wisdom and understanding. Please pray for the family and friends who love both of them. Thank you.

Prayer Request

My brother's wife, Kari, is undergoing arterial bypass surgery this morning to correct the rare condition she has which makes her susceptible to strokes. It's a pretty serious surgery that could take between 6-8 hours minimum possibly 12 hours. Please offer a prayer for her, my brother, Brian, the surgeon and the medical staff caring for her and for the family who loves her. The recovery is going to be rough but hopefully worth it in the end.

Update: 1:08pm  First bypass done. Starting on second.

Update: 3:30pm Finishing up now.

Update: 5pm She's out of OR and my brother is going to get to see her for a bit. An 8 hour surgery! Whew!
 

SIL Update

From my mom: After a preliminary scan yesterday, the doctor said the blood clot is gone. GONE!!! Kari has full mobility again but she is very tired and weak... understandably! She will need to do some therapy but they are hopeful that there was no long term damage done by the stroke. They will do another scan before they release her.

This is wonderful news. She and my brother still have some big decisions to make about how to manage her condition in the future, but right now, we are rejoicing in God's goodness. Please continue to offer prayers of thanksgiving with us!

Thank you all!
 

Prayer Request Update

The latest from my brother is that his wife, Kari, has a blood clot. She has a very rare condition that makes her susceptible to strokes which is why they initially thought she was having a stroke. Please pray that the doctors and medicines can take care of this clot so that she can get back to teaching, house hunting and doing all the things a young wife should get to do instead of sitting in a boring old ICU.

BTW... this is Kari. Isn't she beautiful? And she loves my brother! That's him making a goofy face. He's good at that!

UPDATE 8pm: Kari is showing some signs of improvement (yay!) from the treatment so far. There is still a long road ahead but I think she's brave enough to travel it!