Monday, June 28, 2010

Daddy's Heart

My father had heart attack #5 the night before my birthday and was in surgery for a triple bypass the day after. His first heart attack happened in 1983. I teased him that if he was trying to keep pace with Dick Cheney that was a race he didn't want to win.

I spent Friday driving many hours to be with him. Thank you for all the prayers. I was assured by his nurses in the ICU that his surgeon is a good one and that he was in good hands. Of course, he didn't think I should bother with driving all that way to come see him but when you only have one daughter and five heart attacks, you don't get to make that decision.

Up there is a picture of the pillow that they give patients who have open heart surgery to squeeze should they need to cough. The pressure on the incision sight dulls the pain a bit. (I've learned more about open heart surgery recovery than I ever cared to know.) It came with a marker and I wrote all of our names on my daddy's heart. I also drew three Band-aids with hugs and kisses. He should be able to go home in a few days and then the really hard part hits... therapy and change. Neither things my father is good with.

I was nine years old in 1983 and too young to be allowed into the ICU to see him for that first one. I wasn't there when the other three happened so this was the first time I had ever seen my father hooked up to tubes and drips and machines with beeps and alarms. Maybe this is what everyone should see before they clap and cheer for a return of "real, manly men". Hard headed, cigar smoking, beer guzzlin', red meat gulpin' men end up flat on their backs with a machine pumping their blood through their body while a surgeon stands over them fixing their broken heart... all the while, a daughter's heart is breaking on the highway.

A manly man takes care of himself because he knows his family loves him. A real man is smart and not afraid to admit his weaknesses if it helps him to improve them. I know that ad campaign was designed to be bold and humorous, but sadly, some people are silly enough to think that it's "so true". Yes, Real Men, wear the pants in the family. Yes, Real Men, help those in need. But it's not emasculating to eat a salad or watch your fat intake because, let me tell you, there are no pants in the S.I.C.U.

 

14 comments:

  1. My father-in-law is a survivor of 5 heart attacks too. The last one his pacemaker actually caught. In his 70s, he's still working two jobs and doesn't know how to slow down and take it easy. Thank God for modern medical science which has given them so many more years to enjoy with their children and grandchildren! I don't remember either of my grandfathers, who died of a stroke and a heart attack when I was very young.

    Prayers for him and for your family. May God grant you many, many more years together.

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  2. I'm so sorry, Charlotte. My prayers go out for your Dad. There is nothing quite like a daddy, is there?

    (P.S. the GF version of the grasshopper parfaits was AWESOME! All I did was switch out the oreos to a GF kind. I wasn't able to find Andes mints either, so I used York peppermint patties. Worked like a charm. Thanks so much for that easy-peasy delicious recipe!)

    Much love,

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  3. Keeping your dad in my prayers. You, too. :-)

    PS My dad never had a second chance -- his first was his last. :-( So tell your Pops to be good and mind his doctors (and his daughter)!

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  4. My sister has that pillow too. I feel as though I also have learned too much about open heart surgery recovery this year. The machines and tubes were really tough for me as well.

    I will be sure to keep your family in my prayers.

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  5. Sending prayers for peace and healing, Charlotte! Your description vividly brought back the time we raced several hours to be at my father's ICU bedside when he had his quad bi-pass almost eight years ago. It is amazing what the doctors can do, and it is even more amazing to see our strong fathers recover, slowly but surely, and make dramatic lifestyle changes, because they ARE real men who wish desperately to have a few more years with their children and grandchildren. God bless all of your family as your dad heals.

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  6. Sending many prayers your way and his way. One day at a time. The tubes and machines are awful to see but they are helping him.

    My daughter had open heart when she was five months old...I will NEVER forget seeing her in PICU post surgery.

    Hang in there!

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  7. Praying for you dad ... and for you.

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  8. I'm keeping your dad in my prayers. Praying for your family too.

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  9. Dear Charlotte; Keeping you in my prayers for sure. Our oldest daughter was ten when her daddy had a heart attack, but the cause of his was never known. The recovery process is like being offered a gift, a new lease on life, and definitely another chance to choose better, life wiser and all that stuff. Why not print off this post and gift it to your daddy, hang it near him to view all day long, showing him how he needs give thanks for a daughter like you. :)

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  10. I am glad you were able to be there with him. He will carry that with him all of his days.

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  11. Prayers for your dad. I have a similar problem with a dad who doesn't understand that we want to keep him around for a really long time. He hasn't seemed to accept his mortality yet.

    (sigh)

    Belated birthday wishes, too. I seem to be reading blogs very sporatically recently. And writing sporatically too.

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  12. Praying for your dad as he faces his tough recovery.

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  13. I'm so sorry Charlotte. Prayers for your father.

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  14. Charlotte, thank you so much for posting on your Dad's heart situation. My hubby had a triple by-pass at the ripe old age of 41 a few years back. Reading your post reminding me of what he went through and opened my eyes to those bad habbits (yes, he's a meat eating manly man) creeping back in. I am off to redo the menu plans and eliminate all that meat that he loves. He won't like it, but maybe he can be mad ten years longer than if he ate it. Blessings.

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Thank you for sharing your thoughts and yourself!